Fruitloop Therapy

From here on I refer to Kelly's therapist as Trixie for convenience - it suits her. A list of basic concerns about her manner of work appears on the previous page. Kelly had been seeing her for some years, and she now made less sense to me than she had in worse circumstances. I once asked Nolly the 'interpretor/protector' whether Trixie used hypnosis in the sessions because Kelly was so vague and inconsistent.

'You don't understand DID' she replied. 'Of course Kelly is slipping in and out, that's what happens. You don't need to hypnotise someone for that.' No but it helps with other agendas. Although Trixie spun a yarn about Kelly's parts needing to work together, that was the last thing on the agenda, hence the firewalls. More on this appears at Fruitloop Therapy.

As Kelly poured out ideas for her writing interspersed with other bits and pieces, Commas wrote 'Kelly is nuts, can't you see now?' Commas was hijacking some replies I sent for Kelly, and I discovered she also knew a range of tricks from Trixie. 'Kelly is not nuts' I replied. 'I've known her a long time and she may come back. I don't like to discuss her behind her back, so to speak.'

'Trixie tells me to stop making connections between things' wrote Kelly. 'My friend committed suicide this week, and another tried to. I've known them for years. They both knew Marta. Trixie says I shouldn't connect things like that up. I told Trixie about a woman who is just everywhere I go, and Trixie says . . . '

I sympathised over her friend, thought a while, and sent a reply:

I don't like the things Trixie says to you. That is my problem. Unfortunately you cannot presently see why.

When you feel more up to it, we can discuss it if you want to. I am not going to keep beating my head up against a brick wall trying to make you see. 'Trixie says . . .' is wearing thin with me.

Last night you said she had won because she had isolated you.

You do have some choices, and taking pills won't hack it.'

Well, we are all human, and that is what I was trying to convey to Kelly, who was repeatedly told that normal things were wrong, or they were a sign of some 'illness' that she had to 'get better from'. The wonder was that she was able to function at all.

Does it seem strange to you that three women originally from the same cult area, who knew each other and also Marta, would be strongly suicidal in the very same week? Kelly continued 'I always look at cars and their number plates, so if someone hurts me I can recognise their car later. Trixie says I should not do that. I notice her car too and she gets mad at me.'

Another alter in Kelly's system asked me why Kelly kept running to Trixie when anything happened. 'She knows Trixie hurts us' they said. I replied that it must be difficult for them to say much about this, and there was agreement, but also confirmation over a couple of other things that were puzzling. Many times I thought I could see a link or a likelihood over things, only to find the reality was nothing comparable.

Because of the quantity of emails that night I asked Kelly to slow down. She was growing a bit trance-like, and now I inadvertently used a trigger word. It tipped her over into being hypnotised, something that happened before and she had come out naturally. Normally she knew I would go ten times round the block for her to make up her own mind.

'Now you should say to her . . . . . ' wrote Commas 'And she will come out of it.'

If I could avoid it, I would not use a cult phrase that I did not know the implications of. Commas continued 'You can tell her to go to sleep now, so you can get to bed.' Commas already made attempts to get me to leave that night, as other 'protectors' had tried before. I told her someone must think I was getting too close to something for comfort.

'I'm on your side' she said. I tried a couple more times to get Kelly's attention, wrote that my computer had jammed and I'd be in touch next day. 'That's great, thank you' said Commas. 'Now Trixie can't do anything with Kelly tonight unless she realises she is hypnotised.' Tonight was meant to be a family night, although her family had unexpectedly (to Kelly) not arrived back.

The following week there was nothing from Kelly, but Commas wrote that Kelly was a danger to them all, and I should keep her away from therapy and even from being present in the system. Acting on a sense of unease, I said it was Kelly I knew and I would discuss things with her. 'But you saw all that stuff she wrote that night, she's crazy' said Commas.

'I understood it, so what does that make me? You know the things that happen to Kelly, and you know about the rubbish Trixie feeds her. Commas started to write oddly with gaps in the middle of words. She was upset, not used to being around or getting challenged. What I am now saying is no disrespect for alters that some people have, but Commas seemed more like 'other people's alters' and nothing to do with Kelly. Perhaps she was placed there for some reason rather than developing naturally.

Kelly said she was now isolated from everyone she knew. I wondered if the name of this game was to keep her from contact with me. There had been times when she was forced to say goodbye, and when I refused to say it back, somehow the thread was not broken. 'They' could not go on and do what was planned for her, though that was a mystery to me.

While Kelly was hypnotised or generally out-of-it, others in the system could look after her family. Goodness knows what else they got up to. I was well aware that, despite my respect for Kelly and her integrity, other parts could be capable of anything. A recent exchange with the robot made me wonder. Could be, he was just bragging about having control over Trixie. Could be he had something she needed, or that she did not want to become public knowledge. Commas was emailing me personal stuff about Trixie. Why, and how did she know?

I thought Kelly was becoming a nightmare client for Trixie who might consider pulling out, or ensure that Kelly was unable to cause trouble. When Marta had wanted to break with Kelly someone higher up the chain seemed to tweak on powerful reins, roping them both back in. Kelly now insisted that people were afraid of her including Trixie. I knew Marta had been. What was this? Kelly and another alter noticed that Trixie sometimes seemed phased by Daisy, who could certainly could get stroppy but ...

'Why does Trixie want you broken into little pieces?' I now asked Kelly. 'Marta does' she replied. At times it seemed as if Marta had some notion of actually taking Kelly over, her sensitivity and intuition, her attributes or personal magnetism, whatever it was that drew people.

'You want to know what I think? Probably not, but here it is' I began. 'I think Marta thinks she can take over whatever gifts you have. What good will that do for humanity?'

'None at all' she replied with a glimmer of her former self.

'It's you making me ill not Trixie' came an unexpected email from Kelly. There had been a false sense of calm since she announced there was no therapy because she and Daisy yelled at Trixie. During an unscheduled appointment Trixie learned of my involvement, said I was a fake and that Kelly must stop contacting people. My Inbox filled with emails Kelly was sending to someone who claimed to have solutions for her problems. Kelly was showing a spark of independence, writing her own narrative story for this person to read.

Next day she was shaky, wanting me to get pictures for 'the Book' as she wanted them. I wondered if Trixie was planning Kelly's demise, as it was referred to. On the surface Trixie changed tack overnight, now blaming others for Kelly's problems, her 'illness'. She said Kelly must move far away straight away. I commented that it would need planning and discussing with her close friend and her ex-husband. 'I know' she said. 'I didn't think it could be that easy.' I wondered if moving far away was a euphemism for Kelly's demise or suicide, phrased such that she would know what she was to do, and Trixie could deny any involvement.

'Yes you' came an email from an unknown alter, indicating I was indeed the cause of the problems. I wanted to reply that Trixie should go to jail but settled for 'Oh'. This was all disappointing and I hoped Trixie's control had slipped a notch. Nolly wrote that Daisy had been for an appointment that Kelly didn't know about. 'Do you think Trixie was angling for information from Daisy, or giving her instructions?' I asked. The reply came 'Instructions'.

Was Trixie following her own instructions properly, or batting about in the wind while breaking every boundary and guideline?

Please do not assume that, because you do not do the things outlined here,

or you have not come across them, absolutely no-one else does them

Undermining the Underminers

Family crises in Kelly's life intervened, and there were more days for undermining the Underminers, whoever, wherever, whyever.

No-one has to believe any of this. Not all of these things happen to people involved in ‘satanic’ or other cult ritual activity, and certainly not to many people in therapy. If some of the words, phrases or concepts, or sheer incredibility latch onto your curiosity or onto something meaningful, that is what ‘the Book’ is meant for:

* To de-mystify the otherwise unbelievable

* To show these things can happen

* That they are basically an extension of other aspects of human behaviour, however inhuman, crass, ridiculous, stupid, unnecessary, it may all seem

* It could happen to people close to us

*If we don't listen, we won't hear

Principles which can be used to control others can also be used to undo control

Anyone for Chess?

There was such a performance and so much time being spent in controlling women like Kelly almost daily. Perhaps it was something along the lines of Snakes & Ladders with fixed dice, but so very desperate, life-threatening even. There seemed no fun in it! And if you kill off too many vulnerable oponents, who will you torment? The robot jeered saying I was a bored wannabe at my computer, hanging on by a thread. I would have loved to put this to one side. I knew Kelly and others could not until other people realised how these things occur. Forewarned is forearmed, as the saying goes.

The Carousel was meaningful, each steed on a pole, forced round and round to someone's tune, unable to get off unless something happens. Or someone stops the ride to spoil all the fun: Of those who set it up. OK, I'm a spoiler wannabe.

I don't think people higher up could stop the ride and get off either. Clearly strategic planning went on somewhere, not connected with the frenzy of cult meetings. And someone went round collecting people to attend, generally as it grew dark so time varied, ticking names off a list to ensure that those who defaulted got extra 'therapy', or they paid for their independence some other way.

Fiction? I wish. Probably so did they from both sides of the fence:

Those 'with rank' who were Somebodies, and those 'without rank' who were Nobodies

For certain reasons the so-called Nobodies were much in demand

Perhaps they were needed to facilitate demons or forces of some kind

So they could give information or instructions to the cult higher-ups

Or to give them a sense of power

Somehow forces were playing through Kelly and her alters. Trixie and her kind were doing their very best or worst. I was doing mine. Perhaps it was somehow meant to be, I do not know. It seemed like a game of Chess with the opposing side tearing up the rule book, then chucking out the board.

A Different Path?

I tried to get glimpses of the thinking behind cult ritual abuse and ‘satanism’ as well as other cult-like groups, where these seem to impinge/take over the life of those involved. Choosing a so-called left-hand-path of development as a selfish path is one thing. Causing pain to others, emotional suffering and confusion, ruination, even death, is altogether something else. I looked at sadism and narcissism, Voodoo and anything else, and joined email groups of people proudly calling themselves satanists and joking about their attitudes and practices.

I like to satisfy myself that someone really does have a choice in their decisions and actions. Because, if someone else is calling the shots through bullying, intimidation, violence, seduction, involvement in drug-taking, then something needs doing about it. That is what our basic legal system and human rights are about, the right to freewill and action, at least in theory. We can surely get closer to what is fair, than the situation surrounding Kelly.

People who have trouble controlling themselves and their lives, may seek to control others. If they don’t believe in reincarnation, spirits of ancestors, or the concept of karma, they may be out for anything they can get in this lifetime, robbing people of their worldly goods, or syphoning off their physical time and energies. I hope nothing like this happens to you, but if it does there are books on protecting yourself psychically, in the same way as you put locks on your doors and windows to protect your house. Just because you don’t believe these things happen, that no-one would do them or it wouldn’t work, doesn’t mean that other people don’t do it, putting their very souls into it.

Most of us are similar in that once we were children, not as strong as adults around us, and not aware of options for later life. Perhaps this is one reason why children gang together, or as adults we join things or get drawn in, either with friends or by seeking out people to be with in a pairing relationship or group. There is safety in numbers, no longer small, alone, not listened to, unable to fight back.

Suppose now, a society or subculture which makes it their business in some way to control their children, children of others, weaker members, and thereby gain continuity of their beliefs and practices. There’s nothing unusual about this when it happens naturally via family practices, culture and belief systems, or on a wider scale in a region or country. George Orwell, Aldous Huxley, B.F. Skinner have written about utopias and control of society in a wide sense. Suppose you really think the end of the world is coming, except that certain people only will survive, and you want to ensure your survival over others. Or you think you are stuck with this world and will do your damnedest to maintain position, economically, socially, or in terms of control. Might you opt for a system of social and mental control, creating an underclass of vulnerable people who would be expendable or transferable like a commodity?

Possibilities are endless. You only have to witness stage hypnotism with genuine post-hypnotic suggestion being acted upon by subjects, to see what is possible, not with years of conditioning but just a little, acting on the subconscious of those who are susceptible. Increase the length of time and the indoctrination process, and more of us become susceptible quite easily.

All these things and more, make me suspicious of those detractors who deny that there ever can be any kind of ‘satanic’ or cult ritual abuse. We all like to think we are discerning and can winkle the possible from the impossible, the likely from the unlikely, the appropriate from the inappropriate. I believe use of ‘satanic’ or ‘satanism’ to be a bit of a red herring. There are plenty of satanists who are not involved in cult ritual abuse. Quite why they feel bound to insist that, because they don’t do it, no-one else does, I have no idea. Maybe it’s their idea of an in-joke. I would respect them and their beliefs more if they looked into it properly.

Other writers whom I admire for their critical thinking sometimes dismiss this whole subject in a brief paragraph in an otherwise excellent book. That is on their conscience not mine, but it seems a pity they even mentioned the subject. We can look further than the ends of our noses.

Someone I met by chance took the trouble to explain how she saw choosing a path of evil. She felt it was a spiritual path or choice. If one wishes to change that path or reverse a choice, the spiritual aspect needs taking into consideration, as well as the practices engaged in.

You may choose to read it or not, to believe any of it or not. Many small parts make up a picture. The picture is different for us all. I have been the scribe here because I believe it is important to convey some things I became aware of. I don’t believe I got all of them wrong.

Weird Wednesday

The next day was like the Mad Hatter's Tea Party. Some alters were writing in each others' style, telling me I was replying to the wrong person, yet not saying how to make contact with themselves. I was being fed snippets of information so I asked questions. 'Dah' came the reply from whoever. 'It's dumb for you to believe everything people say.'

It was all dumb to me, and some alters were in the thick of it, aware of crucial dynamics withheld so far and now dangled under my nose. This was another ploy which could take hours to unravel. Dumb for listening, dumb for checking, dumb for trusting anyone at all, dumb for trying to help. Dumb for thinking Kelly was naive. That she wanted to help others caught in the same maelstrom. Time would tell.

It didn't take long. I checked emails but all seemed quiet. Kelly had been distracted and was probably switching alters or busy with family. At the usual night-time hour emails arrived from her: 'There's someone in my driveway staring in. There's knocking at the door. There's never knocking at my door. Help, I'm scared.' Kelly had clearly had a brainwipe so as to have no idea of the risks. I was too late to help evade them this time.

Some people denigrate brainwashing, saying you can't wash a brain so anything anybody says about it is nonsense. As the robot alter would say 'Hahaha'. Let's hope they never have a brainwash or a brainwipe themselves. They wouldn't remember it, any more than Kelly and others like her could. How would people react to someone parked on their own driveway, inducing a fear that they cannot fathom? Someone had recently put considerable hours of work in on Kelly to render her tabula rasa with no means of defending herself. It was probably coming from the same source as the false information that I would be away on vacation and thus unavailable.

When Kelly did recall things she was a problem to those who threatened her, including her therapist who considered she had a handle on everything. Many things she did, but not all. The questions uppermost in my mind were: How could anyone afford to spend 8 hours during one week plus more over the weekend, conditioning Kelly and Daisy, and why? If they were too much trouble, why allow the continued risk they would act up or spill the beans? Could they be providing something the cult desperately needed, and that sometimes they were treated more as part of the in-crowd? Some alters knew more than they generally let on.

Was Kelly a front person, kept genuinely innocent for some reason? Sometimes she quickly grasped what was happening, but recently nothing was sticking long enough to act on. It concerned me that she might be taken away and punished by the cult. They could implant other personae or alters better suited to their requirements - and less trouble for them.

I knew the circumstances in which Kelly came on the scene to help out the host-person Caitlin, and to my way of thinking both had rights. What relevance did my way of thinking have to do with it!

A Dangle to Ponder

Daisy was in a state with something important to tell me. Several times Daisy had asked Trixie to promise something or to do something. On this occasion Trixie made things awkward for Daisy, who was scared that Kelly would get into trouble with her partner whom I call Phil. I did not find out how anyone in Kelly's small DID system could already know that something had gone wrong. I also considered it something-and-nothing, although it could be on the edge of something significant. (It turned out to be part of the game of Snatch, where Trixie would snatch things away, or refused to return items to Kelly or Daisy, see A Singular Mean-ing and more specifically How Some of it is Achieved.)

Phil was not a live-in partner and was mostly absent at weekends when Kelly was now at most risk. It obviously suited the cult and I had wondered about it, but Phil had reasons for being away. It was Phil who paid for Kelly's therapy as well as some household bills. Remember that saying about the person who pays the piper calling the tune?

Phil had been to see Trixie, and I commented to the person translating for Daisy: 'Phil will soon see that there's something seriously wrong with Trixie's boundaries. And what does Phil think about all those extra hours Kelly has in therapy?'

'Phil is in on all of it' came the reply, and nothing more was forthcoming. Another dangle for me to ponder.

Phil could be bossy and Daisy was never easy about it. Kelly opened up occasionally, but for the most part I tried to steer clear. Kelly went into the situation with her eyes open - so I thought. Now questions arose whether she had literally been set up, or if Phil was set up to support the therapy, with instructions to take Kelly to visit triggering places or people. I had been viewing things through eyes unaccustomed to the cult's ways, means and connections.

Phil had a history of befriending lone parents with young children. I do not believe there was an interest in the children sexually on Phil's part, but there was more of a caretaker role undertaken on behalf of the cult for their own reasons. One of Kelly's children could be of interest to the cult, through having some of Kelly's traits that were valued. I have no idea about the adults or children in other families that Phil befriended and paid towards.

This caretaker role could theoretically be undertaken by a male or female. Another feature of Kelly's life had been threats that her children would be taken away unless she consented to something. This was a general threat made to some mothers to get them to comply. Sometimes Kelly's children were taken away and later returned, this not always being carried out through official channels. Things like this seemed to go on in the area, with some people being aware though taking no action over them. Perhaps we should name it Conspiracy City or would that be taking things a deal side too far?

I could not see how or why Phil and Trixie could be colluding over Kelly's therapy of dubious nature. People say that collusion is an unconscious process. There was nothing unconscious about this, if it were as overt as the dangle implied. Kelly suggested a reason for Phil spending a lot of money on the therapy for her, which could have been a convenient cover story. I did not know the reality, and Kelly would not be aware. I'd had hopes of Phil sorting out some of the mess. Several times it crossed my mind that something was wrong, but the collusion scenario in particular had seemed too unlikely. I am not saying there is a definite connection here.

Some people might be cult-connected while not necessarily getting involved in cult rituals or meetings. Some aspects could be like a club: You'd probably know who is in the club, or there is a form of dress or behaviour so you can tell or guess. Other people would be clueless unless they had a reason to suspect. If you were not a Somebody or cult member with rank, or were not cult-connected, you were a Nobody like a cog in a machine or a commodity. Or you would be any ordinary member of the public - I'll opt to be one of those then ...

The point is:

Some people do not have an option. However they had got into the mess that took them towards the cult, there was not a 'However you can get out again' clause. Some do. It is not easy and it may take more than one determined effort or some help. The first step is to recognise the situation.

The question is:

How can someone like Kelly who is surrounded by strong people (apparently in cahoots with one another through whatever drove them cult-wards) explain it to others and get free? Kelly was told that, by insisting there was a local cult it showed she was psychotic. If she did not retract, she would not be allowed home from hospital.

It may help you to know:

It may help you to work out if anything along these lines is wrong in your own life, or that of someone you know. I believe the principles outlined in 'A Singular Yarn' may apply to some other single-parent families in Kelly's situation and/or location. It is in this spirit that the material is presented. There can be other reasons why people get involved in things that they cannot easily get out of, which would be a story for another day!

Hicktown Highjinx

Summary

Readers so far will know that the subject matter relates to cult ritual abuse, and various methods of coercion or confusion that may be employed on vulnerable people, who become unable to lead their own lives or plan their future. In Kelly's case, the story began with her being taken from her home - or wherever she was - on days in the week when her children were elsewhere. When they were home Kelly seemed permitted to lead an ostensibly ordinary life. If she managed to get work, it would somehow allow for attendance at cult meetings on afternoons or evenings when required. Kelly had been safe for about two years when it started up again, this time usually at weekends but sometimes on a week night too.

Kelly was naturally inclined to dissociate to some extent, but people around her knew how to use it to their advantage, and apparently implanted some personality alters as a control mechanism and to report back to the cult. But the cult needed something from Kelly and some of her alters. The wonder is that they treated her so badly, but that could have been a part of their sadistic game.

The purpose of this writing is to get across to those who can listen, that this is not always pie-in-the-sky. If people read what happens to a brave person like Kelly, they are better able to help themselves or someone they know. More people might get caught up in this than we like to think possible. Together we can do something about that. I tried to ensure that I was not playing into the charade, overly affecting what Kelly was thinking or fantasising, or with what others were actually doing. While some scenes have been combined for brevity, nothing has been added for dramatic effect. I spent a fair few hours on this overall. Think how very many must get put in by those implementing such insidious control.

Please do not assume that, because you do not do the things outlined here,

or you have not come across them, absolutely no-one else does them

Return of a Heroine

'No no no, aunti' wrote Daisy one morning, after sending me emails that were just too mundane. Daisy was a young and normally sassy five-year old alter to Kelly who was an intelligent, sensitive, and much maligned mother. Kelly was being abused in a cult setting, and was being deliberately confused about it, the most likely contender being her current therapist Trixie. There had been three long appointments with her in a week, which I was told contained instructions for young Daisy, being the most likely option to manipulate fairly easily using bribes, threats and play.

There were implications that Trixie wanted Kelly to take an overdose, and Kelly felt she wanted to go ahead. This kind of thing was pretty much par for the course and erupted every so often, but this time was deeply concerning. Kelly and I had discussed 'the Book' and confirmed our deal, that if anything happened to her I would write it. Or she could stick around and write her own thoughts.

Daisy had emailed late on a weekend night about a vehicle sitting outside on their driveway - a usual sign of a cult night. The robot alter joked with me that it would be back after dark, and wrote in big capitals that I was a loser. I goaded him with questions, and to my satisfaction he confirmed many of my thoughts about Trixie, telling me things I had not known. I made a comment which was a little close to home, and robot vanished like a genie back in a bottle.

Nolly who acted as an interpretor/protector but was still angry with me, came through and asked what was happening. I explained about the robot. Before I could warn her that it looked like a cult night, she reacted with 'Oh, goodnite madame' and she too was gone. At this rate I needed to brush up on communication skills.

The cult event that weekend seemed less unpleasant than most, and could have been held in someone's house. It seemed likely that it involved further conditioning. Usually Daisy would be upset and bruised after getting taken from home by the cult, wanting me to tell her a nice story. I asked Daisy some questions, phrased so that others could see I was not taken in.

Daisy realised there was a problem and asked if we were still friends. I said nothing had changed: 'I think people are saying stuff, pretending things did or didn't happen, are real or not, truth or lies when they're not. This will make sense to somebody else. They don't want you to write to me. They are playing a bad game with you and Kelly.'

When Kelly surfaced saying there was an appointment soon with Trixie, I hoped Trixie would change her tactics and normalise some of what had been happening. The Kelly who emerged from the session certainly sounded as if something had been smoothed out. Bits of Kelly were missing, particularly her memory, but she was not so fraught. I often had cause to think how good some therapists would be, if only they worked in the interests of their clients, and not the ones who paid the piper.

Conspiracy City or Hicktown Highjinx?

There are no guarantees that I have correctly interpreted everything that was said or implied

I do not know how widespread any of this is

I believe this does not only happen in what I name Conspiracy City or plain ol' Hicktown

Hicktown is probably an unusual or extreme example, so let's use it on that basis

Cult activities or awareness did not apply to everyone working in the police, or at the hospital, or as a therapist

If it helps one adult or child, it will have been worth it from my point of view

I cannot answer for Kelly whether it has been worth it

It is unlikely to be happening to just one vulnerable woman, finding herself alone for part of the week

Why was the suicide rate for young women abnormally high?

What about the children who attend these so-called safe places for help?

Might it be:

From things I recalled from the early days of my contact with Kelly, she had made some kind of deal concerning her children:

She would allow certain cult-related events to impinge on her own life, though having done nothing to warrant it

In return for that, the cult were to leave her children alone

Kelly always put her children first, so it would be natural to her way of thinking, to sign something that should mean her children would lead cult-free lives.

Now there's the rub because:

If Kelly's partner and her current therapist were somehow colluding to maintain control of Kelly, and if Kelly felt beholden to Phil for monies spent on the family -

a) How would Kelly even see what was happening?

b) If she had a dim recollection of what she signed, she would feel reluctant to rock the boat over the cult involving her

c) Why was Phil almost living in the nest with Kelly's children, enabling the therapy, plus leaving Kelly alone at weekends?

d) It looked as though someone was welching on something concerning what Kelly thought she agreed to

e) Why would any individual or group lead Kelly, or anyone, to believe they should enter such a deal? Sadly I have come across similar contracts elsewhere on other aspects, and they have been hard to break too

f) How is the cult, or whoever it is, enforcing these deals? -

i) Is able to welch on them

ii) Is able to welch on whatever they want and whenever they want

iii) Yet individuals cannot welch on deals, however unfair, unreasonable or downright impossible

iv) And even when their contracts are not kept by the cult

Notes:

I do not know if Phil was actively involved in the cult, or in anything subversive involving Trixie, or the therapy/conditioning meted out to Kelly, for a fee paid for by Phil.

And I did not yet know that Trixie and her form of therapy were as damaging as they seemed.

Fruitloop Therapy

Sock-knocking, Soul-shocking

Things were even worse. During a traumatic therapy session described by another alter, Kelly broke through her conditioning and challenged Trixie with 'What the hell is going on?' and stormed out. I knew she could. Trixie seemed flummoxed, saying 'Well someone came out'. The idea had been to trigger one of the alters in the system to show up, and go out to be hurt, as though pied-piperwise they might not return. Trixie probably thought it would be a doddle this time.

After explaining to me what she remembered, Kelly grew vague, wanting to hear Trixie's version to help make sense of things. She was unaware of a reprehensible form of therapy involving Daisy who had vanished, deeply shocked. Kelly too had been turned inside out, and had said so to Trixie, yet felt she needed further ministrations from her. See how it works - sure thing! I can personally recommend how to deal with these evil sockshockers and subversive fruitloopers.

Trixie and her croney phoneys went too far and grew too clever for their purposes. Using crude methods of control, they tried to amp things up into grander stuff, not thinking that some in the system might be developing awareness. The fruitloopers failed to spot it, and had not honed their skills.

While Kelly went unwittingly and unwillingly to abhorrent cult meetings where her body was abused and her mind shocked, it did not get deep into her soul. To allow people into her psyche by attending the 'therapy' sessions, was to risk compromising her very being. To me, a bad therapist is similar to a bad priest, and you would not want their ministrations either. Sadly, people like this can look quite wholesome and fool the very best. These people know no boundaries: It is how they operate. I believe in choices, and Kelly had an important one to make - as I knew she had before.

People who encounter bullying, a bad group experience, a con-man or cult involvement, child abuse or torment, domestic violence or a subversive therapist, often have similarities in how it affects them. It takes a long time to start getting back together, after realising its nature. The remedy sought needs to be beneficial, and never allowed to get worse than the original experience.

What happened to Kelly through her involvement with Trixie seemed specific to the prevailing cultic situation, and there were some other aspects, not all included here or known to me.

The general principles (for want of a better description) behind getting fruitlooped, are the same.

What Drives Cultic Behaviour?

Your guess will be as good as mine!

Others have written about different aspects of cult ritual abuse

There could be fringe benefits for some cult members, to the detriment of other members or other people

There could be people on the fringe of cult meetings, involved from time to time but not wholly in on it

There could be cult-connected individuals or activities serving some mutual purpose

Anything to do with cults of this nature will be heavily weighted in favour of the cult

Cults like the one outlined thrive on cruelty and confusion

There would be strong components of reward and punishment, threats and misinformation

The cults need to prevent people from realising the issues, or being able to leave

It takes a very great deal of time and organisation to enforce the status quo and membership that they require

Price of Getting Connected

Humans live in a paradoxical state, because most of us like to feel free to make choices. There are times when we need to belong in a family or group or neighbourhood. And times when we need to be alone or cut ourselves off from some aspect of others or their behaviour. Some things that we would dearly love to do, lie behind doors closed to us for some reason or none. How nice it would be if some fairy godmother or godfather came along to sort it out for us, for now and for ever. What might we agree to, if we were really desperate, on the streets, needing an operation, needing help for a loved one?

Remember Dr Faustus and the deal that he made to compromise his very soul

See the ads on TV for instant loans, instant solutions, instant gratification

The day of reckoning is deferred and ever deferrable, as you plead your need and go deeper down the ever-deepening hole

People allow connections to things or to people that they otherwise would not touch - let alone get connected with

It becomes an insidious path where boundaries blur and events merge

Needs must as the devil drives

And devil take the hindmost!

The word connected has different connotations for people. It is used here to convey similarities there seem to be in essence between Mafia hierarchies, and what I learned along the way of this type of cult, and about cults more generally. People have a right to believe in what they want, which is now backed by legislation. Some people who follow different lifestyles get angry when their families yank them away, and more harm can be done by this than by the chosen lifestyle. We need to keep balance and perspective.

Legislation in the UK began to cater for something termed grievous or actual bodily harm to the mind, related originally to a case of stalking behaviour. It seems that this would be a step in the right direction regarding cult intrusions, or any other infringement of personal boundaries and basic humanitarian rights.

There were apparent similarities in what I heard of the cult around Kelly, and Mafia protection rackets that force people to pay in order to trade, live their lives, or live at all. Threats to close family go straight for the emotional jugular. Deals get made at different levels of the hierarchy, and different groups may co-exist to an extent.

People welching on deals or fighting over territory leads to mayhem. There are rules to watch out for, and actions are planned and controlled. People know the name of the game for levels of rank or nature of participation. There are some similarities with this particular Hicktown.

Somewhere along the line, the cult of these pages from our Conspiracy City, has evolved

(if that is an appropriate word)

Into a veritable Mafia

(used literally and metaphorically)

And it is apparently operating without rules

(whether or not it actually started out that way)

What does that make it?

Out of control

And ?

Needing to be recognised and dealt with

Or?

Worse even than the Mafia!

Rationale

1. People belong to the cults often without knowing it at a conscious level, and without being able to do much about it

2. Society in general and academics in particular are led to disbelieve that it can or does go on

3. There must be a reason or a belief system behind putting people through the experiences

4. A reason or reasons for the denials and denigration of those who speak out; and reason/s why the denials have effect

No-one has to believe any of this. Not all of these things happen to people involved in ‘satanic’ or other cult ritual activity, and certainly not to many people in therapy. If some of the words, phrases or concepts, or sheer incredibility latch onto your curiosity or onto something meaningful, that is what this is meant for:

* To de-mystify the otherwise unbelievable

* To show these things can happen

* That they are basically an extension of other aspects of human behaviour, however inhuman, crass, ridiculous, stupid, unnecessary, it may all seem

* It could happen to people close to us

*If we don't listen, we won't hear

I don't think people higher up could stop the ride and get off either. Clearly strategic planning went on somewhere, not connected with the frenzy of cult meetings. And someone went round collecting people to attend, generally as it grew dark so time varied, ticking names off a list to ensure that those who defaulted got extra 'therapy', or they paid for their independence some other way.

Fiction? I wish. Probably so did they from both sides of the fence:

Those 'with rank' who were Somebodies, and those 'without rank' who were Nobodies

For certain reasons the so-called Nobodies were much in demand

Perhaps they were needed to facilitate demons or forces of some kind

So they could give information or instructions to the cult higher-ups

Or to give them a sense of power

Principles which can be used to control others can also be used to undo control

Is all of this simply part of human nature gone wild, or behaving like animal groups with some clearly dominant individuals, some striving to be dominant, some not strong enough, able or willing to change the status quo? Could this be what this cult ritual abuse thing was about, to ensure the survival in an advantaged (rather than disadvantaged) state, of some of the fittest or most devious, acting as a group or network over and above the rest?

Will humans always be like this in their workplaces, homes or communities, with supremacist words and behaviours thinly disguised by social veneer and compromise? Is it a covert system, taking the place of overt, warrior-like behaviours? Perhaps this is why we deny it to a large degree, both to ourselves and others, presuming that we know reality for what it is, in order to feel more comfortable.

We need to know more about abusive behaviours, and inequalities in areas that keep some people vulnerable. The most vulnerable tend to be further abused, put upon, ignored, or further confused. Kelly knew it was happening to others in her area, and some people who'd known her a long time were aware in some sense of her situation, and about some of the people involved.

It was a strange co-existence

Could any of us get entangled?

The reader must choose where to draw the boundary on anything

It is about choice and boundaries: Don't let other people erode them -

Or Con you into thinking they are different from what you feel is right

Reasons for this Scenario?

More Than Dreamt of...

'There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy'

At the risk of sounding like a cheap novel with witches on broomsticks or a Dennis Wheatley yarn, things got worse after Kelly stormed out of her therapist Trixie's office demanding to know what had happened. How much connection there was with the cult remained to be seen when things settled. What happened to Kelly through her involvement with this therapist seemed specific to the prevailing cultic situation, and there were other aspects, not all included or known to me.

The following day I checked regularly for emails, thinking Kelly would be in a bit of a state or worse. By evening there was nothing. Then samples of Kelly's narrative arrived, written by her that day and looking worth a read. She surprised me and surpassed everyone by rising above the situation and getting on. But she was not being very earthly over what happened, and crucial dynamics were tragically missing. She still hoped Trixie would let her have another appointment.

Next day the robot sent a raft of emails haha-ing that the coming night was one to watch out for and I would not be able to save Kelly. 'It's curtains for you then' I wrote heading my emails Eejit, for Idiot. That night while I was online, suddenly all hell let loose as Kelly was bombarded with loud music, noises outside, whistling and whatever. The general whatever continued till she fled to another room to hide. People cannot play blaring music in a residential street without drawing attention. It could be reaching her house via computer, or a little speaker that she didn't know about. The intention was to make her think she was crazy or actually to make her crazy. It could have been a trigger to make her think it was loud music.

If I was right, the situation had become more like gangstalking. There is also gaslighting which is inducing fear in people, which had always been a feature of Kelly's life. See 'Did You Call the Cops?' and Amping or Ramping Up. If you convince people that something bad will happen if they don't get out of the house, they get out of the house. Simples, as the Meercat says in the ad.

Next day I checked regularly for emails. Nothing. I went online in the evening as Kelly began to email. She asked if she should take pills to help her sleep as she had the night before. I suggested she keep them in case trouble started again. 'It is' she said wearily. 'Music, noises outside.' I had asked overnight if she could circumvent my questions by thinking who would go to such lengths and why. She evaded every attempt at some tiny inroad into working on something. She was in a bad state and I did not want to get spikey and intrusive.

'Make the music stop' she pleaded. I said that if I was there, I would try turning off the computer to see if it came from there, and go into the various rooms to track it down. 'Maybe I should have gone to the hospital today' Kelly wrote.

'Oh, people do awful things to you, and you go to the hospital!' I replied. 'I don't think so, do you?' causing a small spark to flare in her.

She wrote a jumbled sentence, and we drew to a close as she grew sleepy. Nolly the interpreter came through with 'Someone went to see Trixie today to collect their stuff but no-one remembers.' I had thought Kelly slept all day, as did she.

Kelly had been concerned about personal items left in Trixie's office. Things like this were not supposed to happen, i.e. Trixie harped on about phoney therapeutic boundaries, and then she broke the lot. I tried to find out what was left in her office and in what circumstances, but that was another embargo. Nolly was always evasive when I wrote about Trixie. Now when I wrote that Trixie had upset Daisy, Nolly, sleepy and confused with pills, was concerned: 'Yes, Daisy is hiding somewhere'.

I too was concerned for Daisy who was vulnerable and had been used. There was also no-one to front for Kelly when things got too much, or to alert me to a cult activity. Whether one believes in psychic attack or not, people were attacking her mentally, for what? Would you expect people outside your house harassing you two nights in a row, for having a spat with a therapist? I don't think so, do you?

Dissociated Complexes or Alter Personalities

There is a book on psychic self-defence by Dion Fortune which is a kind of classic, a bit outdated but most people with an interest in the paranormal or occult are aware of it.

From memory - I don't want to have to go through it - she mentions people's auras where pictures or forms are apparently visible to clairvoyant sight, showing things without working it all out the hard way. The crucial point is that when these forms split off from the main persona, they can take on independent life of their own. Worth looking into in relation to alters and DID?

I wondered if each clairvoyant saw the same things in the same way, if it was possible to miss something huge, or interpolate things. Psychics had homed in on me with their unwanted views about this or that in my life. This included some of Kelly's so-called 'protectors'. People can project things so strongly towards other people that it may actually affect them, becoming almost a self-fulfilling prophecy. It is worth bearing in mind, and resisting!

There is a suggestion among psychic researchers that certain types of people, and how they handle emotions, are more likely to have spooky things happen around them. I've known ordinary people who seem to get what they want by willing it really hard, and not giving a damn about consequences. It seems to have something to do with bottled up emotions or unacknowledged needs. Call it one's Shadow or dark-side, or whatever you want to.

Psychic Powers Not Worth the Candle

When cultic attempts to destroy Kelly failed and Marta realised I was involved, they tried to get at me too, but I was far away and not the least psychic. It backfired, apparently scaring their socks off. It seemed to work like an electrical circuit and following the line of least resistance - Believe it or not. What they did not know and I later recalled, was that I had been involved in something at a very old church on behalf of a relative, and not my usual haunt. It seemed to help. I was not a churchy person though came from a line of movers and shakers. Perhaps that was how I became involved over Kelly and this cult.

I never felt particularly celtic, whereas Marta created a phoney celtic persona for herself. I knew what worked for protection if I felt threatened, whether it's what the books or experts recommend or not. A chunk of wood, a pretty scarf, a leather bag, would do for me. Plus keeping my head down and staying out of it. And an uplifting picture on the computer screen of a flower, a scene, or a cute animation.

I've made little mention of Kelly's psychic sensitivity, but she seemed to have the goods. She was boasting about her powers again which some psychics will tell you is a stupid thing to do. Unfortunately I got the impression that this was what took Kelly into occult country in the first place. Now it, or someone involved, apparently would not let her go. People were indeed scared of Kelly, blaming her for not foreseeing things, and for ailments in their family. A weird email arriving alongside a host of the usual ones, caused me to recall something.

For some years I knew a psychic woman who got highly emotional, and appeared to have a psychic involvement in someone's car crash. She was no innocent regarding rituals. She laid it on thick to me how she did nothing, she just thought of the person, and cried and cried, and did this and this, and would I believe what just happened! It fell on deaf ears and we lost touch. Would this kind of thing happen with Kelly?

Kelly had recently done some things while in a quandary, and she too used the innocence defence. Her own writing may reveal more of her thinking on this field, what she called the Universe. In our early days when we talked of whether people might envy her the psychic gifts, she offered to pass them to me, saying 'I can give you them.' No, thank you.

It isn't worth the candle unless you're stuck with it. But wouldn't it be handy if ... ?

You're Scared of Me!

I could understand Kelly's desperation but parts of it wore thin. She would then say I was scared. I told her and Nolly 'I am not scared of you. But there are others in your system who are mixed up with some really bad people.' I never got a reply. After all this time I knew little of what constituted Kelly and her alters. Kelly often asked if one day we could meet up for coffee and a shopping trip. When all avenues in her own area closed in on themselves, she or Daisy would say they were coming to live in my basement. We don't have one and anyway.. Shopping trip maybe later, much later. I did know something of the people around Kelly, and one reason for my early involvement was Marta haranguing me about it. It was kind of personal, but not the reason why I continued.

Anything I said about myself was recycled by Kelly's system and fed back at intervals, including some red herrings. Now I put nothing into the melting pot. One alter persona recently asked my views on Kelly's children and I refused to get involved. Kelly did not know and I forgot, that our correspondence lapsed 2-3 years earlier when Kelly repeatedly pushed me to comment concerning her children, some of it legal issues. I imagined Marta concocting a plan to push me down a deep ethical and legal blackhole. There were too many questions about my life. 'Who wants to know, and why?' I began asking, receiving a phoney explanation like people give when hypnotised to do something daft.

People can have mixed recollections or even fabricate a whole scenario. We cannot always know, and cannot judge, whether all the suffering is caused from outside, or from within, or half-and-half. We fabricate or confabulate when we don't recall something, the subject is hazy, or it does not connect with things we're certain of. People use it to explain/ explain away, all memories that people like Kelly have, implying that it never happened to this person, therefore nothing like it has ever happened to anyone. That sure is not logical, and could lead us all into a tangled web. Sounds like a confab to me Tommy!

The Web

Kelly wrote a paragraph for her part of 'the Book' reflecting that she was once more ensnared by others in a gigantic web. She asked if she would survive if that web were suddenly removed. I too wondered as I put in chunks of time hoping something would gel, with a feeling of before it's too late. Kelly would start with ordinary aspects of her life, unearthing questions of increasing severity. She then threw in something of epic scale, begging me to sort it right now along with everything else. How had any of it got this way? Was she serious about extricating herself? Could she effectively do anything? If she managed in the shortterm, how would things be 2 years on? I do not like to write these things.

I noticed with Daisy that she contacted me after a cult night, spinning out emails over several hours with 'Can you help me just dis one day?' It is natural for people in trouble to seem attention-seeking, but there comes a point where one wonders if something is an elaborate set-up:

Let's not waste time looking at anything useful for our life; No let's go waste someone else's

More information on this appears in the Addendum

Could all of this be an elaborate set-up to ensnare folks like me? But for what? To knock us down again perhaps, as happened to therapists trying to sort out the miasma. If you make people look egg-on-face-wise because they believe something, and then you claim they were naive or deluded (even evil, as I heard one expert strangely say), what might be happening behind the scenes which no-one will believe? It's called deniability, a term used by real live spooks. Ay, there's the rub.

HAMLET:

To be, or not to be: that is the question:

Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer

The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,

Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,

And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;

No more; and by a sleep to say we end

The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks

That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation

Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep;

To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;

Therapy for the Children

The effect of all this on Kelly's growing children bothered me, and how many nights she was getting taken by the cult. There are 7 nights in a week, and things were happening disproportionately to my awareness, and perhaps always had done though not to my awareness.

Kelly asked a friend if she would allow her child to see Trixie for therapy. I queried whether Kelly had plans to send her own children for therapy, and she asked 'No, why would I?' - Well perhaps because Kelly often asked me to comment on her children's mental welfare. She should know I would not stick a diagnostic label on anyone. That is the game that gets people into a therapy mess, especially when linked to a cult-spun web.

Perhaps also because Phil, the close friend who paid for Kelly's therapy, had an intriguing though unendearing habit, of befriending lone parents and paying for them plus their children to have therapy. Now that's a really bad idea. Phil was away and, prior to this, appeared to be wining and dining elsewhere using Kelly's credit card. Another family perhaps? Another contrived affair? There were questions I'd have liked to ask of Phil. I'll probably never get the chance, and would not get straight answers. In the past someone, probably Marta, applied for credit cards in Kelly's name, and spent large sums that Kelly hadn't a cat-in-hell chance of paying. Then Kelly would get punished for having 'no monni' as Daisy had put it.

If Kelly took her children anywhere near Trixie, that would effectively eject me from the scene. I had told Kelly I would have to consider my position if she continued to see Trixie longterm. So much information and trauma zinging around can draggle one's thinking-cap, but I knew I could not be involved even on the sidelines, if this went forward for Kelly's children. I would find another way.

Kelly had been harassed beyond what most human beings can envisage, let alone handle. I had been online especially during night-time hours, over a whole week plus the previous fortnight. I learned that one of the reasons Kelly seemed able to cope was not just her own dissociative style, but actually the psychic attacks that she was subject to, the loud music and whatevers. It was like giving her ECT, electro-convulsive therapy: It made her forget. It made me recall hours spent in mental hospitals when we still had those, chatting to people who received ECT which is still given to people, and is yet another story for another day.

The cult must put the session down in their little black book as a brainwipe night, brainswiping, or giving some scramble. That has demystified that then. One day I will let you in on the descriptive phrase that I have put down for them in mine.

Reasons for This Scenario

Throughout 'the Book' I have described things as they occurred between Kelly and myself or as they occurred in my thoughts. The aim is to encapsulate it so that others may avoid a fate worse than death. There may be anomalies through how things unfolded over the years, and what was known at the time or general blips. They can be looked at in hindsight and a spirit of enquiry rather than criticism or denial. Some information linking aspects has been excluded, as have details on Kelly's family situation and of some perpetrators, for their privacy and for expedience.

Kelly had no recollection of the events around the therapy session when she realised something was wrong, stood up for herself on key issues, and walked out. She had gone back there and questioned some more. She followed up her concerns with Trixie by email and telephone. She went to collect her belongings, i.e. not intending to return after that. She was then subjected to something like gangstalking at her home. It is possible the cult gained direct access to her and conditioned her to forget. She was in no position to make a realistic decision about further cult-related therapy, or about any cult involvement. It is no wonder Kelly pleaded for help while being unable to take effective action herself.

Why do people in domestic violence situations not just get up and go? If you thought your children might get harmed if you stood up for yourself, what would you do? And if someone forced or deceived you into making a pact of some kind, with the devil or someone nasty, to keep your children safe, what could you do? You might tell someone like me, by which time there is so much confusion in people's minds that it gains no foothold. Things can change!

Why did I not just explain that particular week to Kelly? Good question. How would you handle such information from her point of view? There is an experiment where rats give up when they are presented with impossible circumstances: They stop trying to survive, they give up the ghost, and die.

This must be some psychological experiment in social control then?

Bad things can happen to people through no reason or fault of theirs or anyone else's. That is life. What I have never been able to grasp is why anyone could, or would, make things worse or more confusing for others, on a random basis and particularly a concerted one. There were no questions in my mind over whether they should or should not do it, and whether they should get away with it. None.

If people wish to take part in activities that horrify others, I probably wouldn't queue up to stop them. What I objected to was the lack of choice, and the fact that a so-called therapist with a so-called safe environment for traumatised and vulnerable people including children, lured them in to destroy them. That cannot be right.

Remember 'The Blue Lamp' and Dixon of Dock Green? That would be good for this particular Hicktown. What it needs is more lamplight!

This story is unfortunately not a fairy tale and not a fabrication. If people tell you that it does not happen, or it cannot happen, maybe they can explain to me how anyone can possibly know that, however learned they are.

If anyone wants me to retract it, why would you?

There will be detractors. But things can improve. The chances of cults and perpetrators continuing to get away with things because they can, or because no-one listens or believes, will be greatly reduced.

I tried to ensure that I was not playing into the charade, overly affecting what Kelly was thinking or fantasising, or with what others were actually doing. While some scenes have been combined for brevity, nothing has been added for dramatic effect.

Not all of the subjects mentioned happen to everyone with cult ritual abuse or mind-control experience. If something is relevant to you, I hope it helps you to read about it. It is not meant to upset you.

Please do not assume that, because you do not do the things outlined here, or you have not come across them, absolutely no-one else does them.

Could any of us get entangled?

The reader must choose where to draw the boundary on anything

It is about choice and boundaries: Don't let other people erode them -

Or Con you into thinking they are different from what you feel is right

The Publisher regrets that it is not possible to enter into correspondence on individual cases, or to comment further on the material appearing here. 

You may print a copy for yourself or for someone you know who may benefit. The material is Copyright.

Useful Links - Use Your Judgement

A book may include only a couple of paragraphs of relevance to you, but can be well worth it. A little moral support from one other person goes a long way to change the dynamics of an individual's life. Groups are strange creatures, and can be turned around for better rather than for worse. Perhaps it needs just one person to give moral support, for someone else to feel able to speak out or to stand for or against something.

If you know someone who is dissociative, or you think they could be a survivor of cult ritual abuse, follow your instincts and offer support where you can. Things are not always what they seem but they could be. You don't need to be an expert to make a difference, but you don't have to try. Don't put yourself at risk from over-involvement.

If you are not sure, or are concerned about your own situation, whether you are a survivor of abuse, of cult ritual abuse, or think you may be involved in what other people call a cult in a broad sense, give yourself time to work out what is important. Find out what you can. Get support if you can. One organisation or person may be able to help over one small aspect that makes a big difference, even if it is just by being there.

A search on Amazon or Google will help you to find what you are looking for. Also see Lucela's List for background reading, and the Links section. Use your judgement.

Addendum

Kelly, the person described in these pages, was naturally inclined to dissociate to some extent, but people around her knew how to use it to their advantage, and apparently implanted some personality alters as a control mechanism and to report back to the local cult. But the cult needed something from Kelly and some of her alters. The wonder is that they treated her so badly, but that could have been a part of their sadistic game plan.

Readers may find events described between Kelly and her therapist here named Trixie, just too bizarre. What sort of therapist would deliberately destroy someone intelligent and once lively, who in her darkest hour still thought of others? Sadly it had something to do with procuring vulnerable women for men willing to pay. This is what drove a substantial part of the unpleasant cottage enterprise. Kelly was disappearing from her home on about 4 nights a week now instead of 2. Every night she contacted me saying 'I don't want to get taken tonight' or else 'Me no want to get hurt agin aunti' from young Daisy who hated snakes - her word for men, penises and sex. Hearing how it affected them physically was awful. They had to bear the psychological pain too.

A new informant in the small DID system who explained what Kelly could not, said it was now also happening from outside their home. In our early Internet discussions, Kelly said they got her from the grocery store or shopping mall, so this was not news though I felt something was different. Now Kelly just felt uneasy in those places without knowing why. Things were like a sandwich as Kelly went to therapy and was conditioned to open her door at night, or triggered to get into a truck that pulled up outside the office or her home. An alternative was Kelly getting taken from home overnight and going straight to Trixie before office hours next day.

I learned how a woman who looked familiar 'but the hair was different' came to the home, sometimes with a man who came for 'services' and sometimes leaving for a cult meeting. When a vehicle pulled up outside with lights and horn blaring, Kelly or Daisy did not want to go. If the inhabitant could not trigger a cult-alter, the vehicle circled and returned. A worrying twist was a different vehicle, and Daisy succumbed because she thought she was being rescued. It was hard to distinguish when it meant attending a full cult meeting away from habitation, or in someone's house or disused factory, or a single assignment. Kelly recalled only fragments, soon forgetting while still bearing bruises. She sent a rushed email that she had hurt herself jumping out of a vehicle, and phoned for a cab which she paid when she got home: 'They don't give you time to grab your bag when they take you.'

Such Games

Such Deception

Such Evil

Such Organisation

The Informant said the cult could not understand why they did not have much luck when I was online. Kelly paid the price either during therapy, or when loud music jarred her not to recall what she'd put together. When I asked for reasons behind the harassment, whether it was punishment related to wanting to terminate therapy, or to drive her nuts or make her forget, Informant replied 'I think it is to get her under Trixie's complete control.' What did they want, 14 nights a week and jumping through hoops? They would burn out their valuable assets of women whom they could frighten, coerce, or keep conditioning to perform, hoops or no.

Informant said something that I misinterpreted, though it may be relevant. When she said it now happened from outside, the phrasing sounded as if an outside commercial enterprise had come along with greater influence and demands. 'Does this mean Trixie and Marta have to do things to someone else's order?' I asked. 'I don't know' came the reply. I wondered if Marta and Trixie might have separate enterprises, with Kelly and Daisy caught in the middle. There seemed no love lost between Marta and Trixie but that might be a front. Perhaps some of the local menfolk tired of Marta's manners or lack of them, and homed in on Trixie as being a Softer Younger option to deal with.

I had been led to believe that procuring was a private sideline of Marta's, in addition to large cult meetings which were high drama. There were smaller events that were another private matter of hers. It now seemed that Trixie, as well as being a cult conditioner, could be involved in the procurement aspect. You would not recognise these women from other smartly dressed businesswomen with a line in psychological patter. They do not stand out as different or evil, having chosen their camouflage well. They work with families although there is no suggestion they are involved in sexual abuse of children. It is rather that children or adults exposed to the double-talk, will find it hard to fathom what is real underneath. They cannot tell what is appropriate, and it becomes ever harder to get free as the sticky thread is spun.

We are not naming these two women or their places of work. Let's hope you never meet them or anyone like them. If you do, you may recognise some of the features in the throw-away comments by Kelly, or the styles that could indicate to look deeper. We do not want to start a witchhunt, and did not want to spell out the nature of this particular enterprise, but otherwise you are left guessing or asking, Did we really mean that!

Just be warned, and

If in doubt, don't get involved

Mind what you say on the Web

Amping or Ramping Up

If people wish to take part in activities that horrify others, I probably wouldn't queue up to stop them. What I objected to was the lack of choice, and that 2 so-called therapists within a so-called safe haven environment, were apparently luring traumatised and vulnerable people including children. The longterm effect would be to destroy their lives via confusion and control. For what - money, power, kicks? A belief that it is right, or the only way to survive? Or plain old one-upmanship and gang culture, the stronger versus the weak, making and keeping others weak? What the hell? The devil is in the detail.

It was starting to look as though hi-tech wizardry was being used to get Kelly to toe the line, or more likely curl up her toes. What I have never been able to grasp is why anyone could, or would, make things worse or more confusing for others. There were no questions in my mind over whether they should or should not do it, and whether they should get away with it.

The questions now paramount related to whether the current situation for Kelly was conditioning, control, organised forgetting, or a fight to the death. If you destroy someone sufficiently, they are not much use to you or your enterprise. They also cannot talk. They can however be used as an example to others. Kelly spoke out for years in one way or another against the cult and Marta Smith. No-one listened.

Several years earlier I came across Laura (not her name) who claimed to be the victim of gangstalking. I leave it to the reader to gauge any relevance to cults and control. She spun quite a yarn and people generally gave her short shrift without checking. Laura forwarded me her correspondence and research. Her particular gem was that she had been in a counsellor's office feeling dazed and puzzled at both the length of time that passed, and the state of dishevelment and exhaustion of the counsellor. This was no deep primal session where violent emotions erupt and people flail about. It should have been a calm, semi-intellectual encounter suited to someone like Laura, who was normally clear-headed and analytical. Following the session, things went dramatically downhill. Laura felt harassed via stalking, noises inside her home, confusion in her thinking, and vehicles parked outside. Sound familiar? Not identical, but worth considering the underlying dynamics. People who want control have to use broadly similar strategies, whatever the specific aims.

It tied in with work on covert hypnosis, stage hypnotism and magic, mis-direction, dis-information. I have doubts about subversive hypnosis where people do not elect to be hypnotised. An old chestnut says there is no such thing as hypnosis, and 'anyway you can't make people do things'. The issue is, to what extent one is truly informed and agrees to the consequences, ALL of the known ones and more besides. I do not think Laura agreed to be put into a trance state. Even if she did, I wonder whether she received under-the-radar suggestions, or even some form of implant. Targeted individuals (TI's for short) and electronic harassment are written about widely on the Internet. It can all sound paranoid, but is it all? You can take what is useful and not get sucked into what isn't.

Laura had gone out searching and confronted people head on, meeting some bizarre reactions. She felt some organisations claiming to offer advice, were behaving as though they knew something significant but would not say. What they did say came over as strange behaviour towards people seeking information and help. 'How did they know what would happen next?' Laura asked. I don't know. I was not delighted when she claimed an organisation that I respect was similarly dubious, and I did not agree with all her conclusions or emphasis. Her experiences of harassment are shocking, she stuck her neck out to learn, and I respect her endeavours.

I wondered whether Kelly now had the problem of an implant bolstering the cult instructions or hassle. Her situation had aspects of gangstalking rather than bystanders acting as triggers, or relaying information that led to her abductions. I asked the Informant about the loud music that disturbed Kelly via the computer or a hidden speaker. Informant replied that there were different sorts, warm psychic music that Daisy liked, real music outside the house, and the mind-shattering type inside Kelly's head. Whatever its origin or mode, the last version acted like an electrical jolt similar to ECT, so that Kelly could not remember inconsistencies in her therapy, much about cultic events, or the men who abused her there and elsewhere.

Why did I not explain more to Kelly of what I learned? Readers are outside the situation. Kelly was in it, whatever it really was. I was hearing about some aspects long-distance, and trying to piece them together. Kelly knew she was in an impossible situation. It was she who suddenly asked me, as she had before, 'Are you saying that Trixie is at the bottom of all this, and causing me all these problems?' I said I did think so. This time Kelly just pressed Reply 20 times. When Nolly the 'interpretor/protector' came through concerned, I asked if there were younger alters available who would not hear the music or be triggered.

Only the robot came trying to prove a point. 'Fee fi fo fum' he wrote. 'You lost Daisy and now you will lose Kelly too. Hahaha.' There's many a true word spoken in jest, and Kelly disappeared for several nights. The nasty people posing as nice, were minimising the risk of her making any sense. When Kelly surfaced she asked formal little questions while ignoring mine. She answered my replies to another alter who chipped in, and it seemed a split had deliberately been made. My guess was that during recent abuse, a hypnotic tape was playing in the background to obliterate or shatter Kelly. We struggled to talk about her writing and plans to continue her studies. 'Whatever you think best, whatever is easiest for you' came Stepford-style, not even like bedraggled Kelly who'd say 'Please don't let's fight today Lucy' after more abusive experiences.

Another psychological experiment in social control?

People involved in hearing about lives like Kelly's wonder whether they have wandered into an elaborate charade put on by someone off-the-wall, histrionic and manipulative. It is easy for a folie-a-deux to form, however hard one tries to keep things straight. An alternative explanation, that a group of people are conspiring against them, sounds crazy. If it does happen and is not crazy, it must be well-planned and evil. You think your thoughts, I'll think mine. What would you do if someone wiped out your thoughts and memories, and put other stuff in there, even a new personality? What could you think, or tell people that they might listen to or believe? See the Video further down the page.

That Ol' Hicktown Fruitloop

I believe this does not only happen in what I name Conspiracy City or plain ol' Hicktown

Hicktown is probably an unusual or extreme example

Cult activities or cover-ups did not apply to everyone in the police, at the hospital, or therapists

It is unlikely to happen to just one vulnerable woman, living alone part of the week

What about the children who attend these so-called safe places for help?

People who encounter bullying, a bad group experience, a con-man or cult involvement, child abuse or torment, domestic violence or a subversive therapist, often have similarities in how it affects them. It takes a long time to start getting back together, after realising its nature. The remedy sought needs to be beneficial, and never allowed to get worse than the original experience.

What happened to Kelly through her involvement with her two therapists who were well-known to each other, seemed specific to the prevailing cultic situation, and there were other aspects, not all included here or known to me.

I do not know if Kelly's close friend Phil was actively involved in the cult, or in anything subversive involving Trixie, or the therapy/conditioning meted out to Kelly, for a fee paid for by Phil. Mostly it seemed more likely that Phil was being fruitlooped into playing a part which kept some aspects rolling in a particular way. Had it not been for Phil, my guess is that things would somehow have been kept rolling. Another day, another dollar, another means. See A Singular Mean-ing.

We are not naming this Hicktown. If people send in their guesses on any of the material in 'the Book' we won't be confirming or denying anything. Don't be fooled that this must be happening in some tiny backwater with no outer signs of civilisation. It is the inner signs that are of concern, whatever the appearance of the place, or who is carrying out these things. You would not guess unless something clues you in.

The general principles behind getting fruitlooped - anywhere - are the same

Shiftwork at Switching Hour

'Hahaha loser' came an early-morning email as I tried to prevent Kelly getting taken by the cult after dark at their end. No prizes for guessing who this was, but he was useful in warning me of things about to happen, or things that already had.

He was bang on cue at the witching hour, not of midnight but of switching, when alters often switched to leave the house, and get into a cult vehicle which I call Transport. It was like a company bus catering for the staff on 2 adjacent shifts. Emails often arrived at that same time, indicating Kelly was gone and someone else was in place.

One afternoon when an appointment with Trixie was due, I chatted online with Kelly and an alter I call Lorelei. Kelly, echoed by Daisy, said she did not want the appointment and felt uneasy. I was expecting further contact from their end within about 5 hours, a long session ending when it got dark which Kelly hated. I did wonder whether she would break out of the appointment again before the end of the session.

I suggested to Lorelei that she tell Trixie she did not want to be late leaving, as she'd arranged to be online with me afterwards. 'Holy cow' she said, before asking what to wear. I was hoping Lorelei's different approach to life might help overall. She showed herself willing to carry out tasks that no-one else would, and did not get anxious in the same ways.

Early next day Daisy was writing 'Hi aunti, me back now'. It seemed they had arrived, not with the milk but with the Transport that collected them on other nghts. It was 10 hours since they left for the appointment with Trixie just down the road. Some sandwiching act that was. It was not clear whether the harassment vehicle was part of the collection process, or was a clean-up crew sent to make people forget, and mess with any electrical gadgets as a sideline.

Lorelei said there had been a short but helpful therapy session this time. Nolly, who kept some of Kelly's system functioning - often by concealing information in both directions, wrote 'She is lying to you' yet refused to explain. Something did not feel right and wires crossed as Nolly again wanted my assurances to spend more time endlessly shoring up Kelly, to my mind adding grist to the cult-mill fruitloop. 'It's not like it would be a life sentence' she whined. This is exactly how it is for people like Kelly unless they are fortunate enough to get away. My aim is to demonstrate how the procedure may start, not always with the young and vulnerable, though it's obviously much easier that way.

Kelly and others in her system were being used and abused in ways that most of us don't experience in our nightmares. I told Nolly some of what I'd become aware of, adding 'It's this kind of guarantee that Kelly sought in life, and got her into this mess with the cult.' Deep down I had a feeling that at some level, Kelly did know and did bear some responsibility, though these days she had flickers of insight that blinked out just as quickly.

The Informant reappeared and, although her information was interesting, the mental gymnastics were riveting. She explained that Daisy had played for two 3-hour sessions while refusing to talk or listen to Trixie. It is likely Daisy and others believed that is what happened. This did not explain why Kelly was away at night for 8 to 10 hours while terrified of the dark. At switching hour Informant mentioned smoke and fear, like Daisy described when Transport arrived with lights and horn blaring. Informant said the smoke was to get them to leave but that no-one would be going. Time passed as we talked about Trixie saying, if there was still cult involvement it could cease if Kelly just said so. There were distinctly different realities going on here. Who was pulling the wool over whose eyes? As fast as Kelly or I could ravel up a thread, somehow it just unravelled. If Kelly told the cult to stop, my guess was she'd have to agree to something, perhaps as Trixie and Marta did in their way, however it may have all begun.

Interaction grew erratic as Informant now insisted there was no longer cult activity. If Daisy told me the following weekend that someone was knocking the door, it would only be the tornado rattling doors and windows. This is just the sort of thing Nolly said to send me off track. She'd flown into a fury when I said it was OK to ask me for help, but something also needed doing at their end. So strongly did she deny that Trixie could be following cult instructions that I thought it was the robot who replied. (During this period I received information which indicated there could be deeper levels to this scenario. Perhaps delving was unlikely to do Kelly any good.)

Informant started bombarding me with questions on the supernatural, and it was hard to tell if she wanted me to agree or disagree. Now I backed away gently, feeling she was too fragile. When I have challenged inconsistencies in the past, alters have exploded or hidden, instead of providing much needed survival strategies.

She was also wanting my assurances to spend more time endlessly shoring up Kelly

- adding grist to the cult-mill fruitloop

I considered whether Kelly and her inner entourage were psychopathic, using every attention-seeking ploy available. My view is that someone else was going to elaborate lengths to convince Kelly and myself that nothing untoward was happening in their neck of the Woods. If I find out that I've been conned, you have my word that I will admit it, and be glad to be getting on with smelling the roses.

We called it a night on the theme that Kelly thought she created experiences others could enter, while it was all just a dream. Kelly and I had discussed her fears that she was psychotic, and I introduced the idea that anyone could have episodes of weird or dreamlike thinking or vulnerability. It did not mean they were crazy or sick, for ever. Meanwhile Trixie veered between telling her 'Your brain is sick, so you are sick and you make your family sick' and 'I can help you, anyone else is a fake'.

The evil being perpetrated around Kelly via destructive therapy alone, was like a heat-seeking missile. I also learned more than I ever wanted about Hicktown cottage industry and how it apparently covered its tracks. My point is that anyone can get drawn in and kept down if others are determined enough. The question remains Why? I recall Kelly's own challenge of 'So you don't believe me'.

Here is mine:   Go on, call me a liar, make my day . . .

Fake or Flake

What has Kelly gone through? If it is cult activity, how is it maintained? If it is not, how is the illusion maintained or denied in the mind of Kelly and her alters?

It is worth mentioning these issues, even though people may call me a flake. It makes a change from the 'fake' label that people in Kelly's life pinned on me no matter what. When people are in trouble and the chips are really down, they look for information or help. They need to work out what is good or expedient for them, and what is not.

If people do not realise there can be flakes and fakes out there, they come to trust and rely on those who are -

Not up to the task, or who have a different Agenda

People who are puzzled or desperate often search the Internet, burning the midnight oil until they find something that makes sense. We don't claim 'the Book' is the answer to people's problems, but it may help you gain confidence while you search. Look on it as a friend-in-court for when life goes crazy around you.

Get Good Help or None At All!

Where Do I Go for Information or Help?

People need to use their personal circumstances and discretion, their beliefs or disinclinations. Waters have become so muddied that opinion settles one way or another, for or against this approach or that, leaving people with no personal options. We have to find some!

The following are suggestions that have been made. You are free to make up your own mind. But please find out all you can on your own behalf, or for someone you know.

www.reachouttrust.org

Articles www.reachouttrust.org/articlesRelatedIssues.php

www.salvationarmy.org.uk

Anti-Human Trafficking www2.salvationarmy.org.uk/uki/www_uki.nsf/vw-sublinks/025D829BF4D3A2DF8025744A003FF0B7?openDocument

www.familysurvivaltrust.org/info.php?page=links

www.cultavoidancesociety.org

Aims to pro-actively educate about the dangers of destructive cults, in order to reduce the risk of people becoming involved in abusive and totalitarian groups.

www.dc-international.org

www.dialogcentre.org.uk

www.amazon.co.uk/Psychic-Protection-Handbook-Powerful-Uncertain/dp/0749941650/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1314271366&sr=1-1

www.amazon.co.uk/Psychic-Self-Defense-Dion-Fortune/dp/1578631513/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1314270395&sr=1-1

www.amazon.co.uk/Witchs-Shield-Protection-Psychic-Self-defense/dp/073870542X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1314270664&sr=1-1

www.amazon.co.uk/Practical-Psychic-Self-defense-Understanding-Influences/dp/1571742212/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1314270550&sr=1-2

www.amazon.co.uk/Psychic-Protection-Balance-Reprint-Beginnings/dp/1888767308/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1314271221&sr=1-1

www.amazon.co.uk/Devil-Walk-True-Story-ebook/dp/B004QGYX8O/ref=sr_1_3?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1314270237&sr=1-3

Cult Connections

Humans live in a paradoxical state, because most of us like to feel free to make choices. There are times when we need to belong in a family or group or neighbourhood. And times when we need to be alone or cut ourselves off from some aspect of others or their behaviour. Some things that we would dearly love to do, lie behind doors closed to us for some reason or none. How nice it would be if some fairy godmother or godfather came along to sort it out for us, for now and for ever.

What might we agree to, if we were really desperate, on the streets, needing an operation, needing help for a loved one?

Some people might be cult-connected while not necessarily getting involved in cult rituals or meetings. Some aspects could be like a club: You'd probably know who is in the club, or there is a form of dress or behaviour so you can tell or guess. Other people would be clueless unless they had a reason to suspect. If you were not a Somebody or cult member with rank, or were not cult-connected, you were a Nobody like a cog in a machine or a commodity.

Or you could be any ordinary member of the public like Joe here

Don't knock it!   It beats these other guys hands down

Lamplight not Gaslight

Remember 'The Blue Lamp' and Dixon of Dock Green? That would be good for this particular Hicktown. What it needs is more lamplight!

Principles which can be used to control others can also be used to undo control

The first thing is to be aware

The reader must choose where to draw the boundary on anything

It is about choice and boundaries: Don't let other people erode them -

Or Con you into thinking they are different from what you feel is right

Thank you for listening and Good Luck!

C O N T E N T S

PART I

Web Of Deceit

Break Into It Anywhere

Who Would Do Such a Thing?

Special Occasions

Did You Call The Cops? All Over Now?

PART V

Christmas Wishes

New Year Follies

The More It Changes

New Deal On The Table

Emails From Nolly

BOOK TWO

Return of a Heroine

Conspiracy City or Hicktown HighJinx?

Fruitloop Therapy

What Drives Cultic Behaviour?

Price of Getting Connected; Rationale

PART II

Who Is This?

Why Do Such Things?

How Did That Deal Go?

Bleak Times

PART VI

Full Circle

Sequel

End Times Prophecy

Themes & Underlay

BOOK THREE

More Than Dreamt of...

Dissociated Complexes or Alter Personalities

Psychic Powers Not Worth the Candle; The Web

Therapy for the Children; Reasons for This Scenario

PART III

Time Will Tell; More Weirdness

Deals Within Wheels

Musings And Meditations

Out Of The Woods?

PART VII

A Singular Thread

Are You the Therapy Police?

Hanging by a Thread

Most Singular Evil

ADDENDUM

Amping or Ramping Up; That Ol' Hicktown Fruitloop

Shiftwork at Switching Hour; Fake or Flake

Where Do I Go for Information or Help?

Cult Connections; The Mind as a Garden

PART IV

Re-Cap

Return Of A Friend

Proprietary Rights

Rights And Wrongs

PART VIII

Astonishing 'Therapy'

Undermining the Underminers

Anyone for Chess? A Different Path?

Weird Wednesday; A Dangle to Ponder

A SINGULAR MEAN-ING

Delusion?; Joining the Circus

How Some of it is Achieved

Cult or Klan? Web of Deception

Imagery, Support, Friend-in-Court

HINDSIGHT: If Only; Boggle Up or Boggle Down; Game Ludicrass; Fantasies and Fantasmagoria

Jingles and Jamborees; Carry On Capers; Factor This; Tell Us Why! The Masked Magician

MEASURES & Countermeasures

Information on Cults & Psychic Self-Defence

Links - Use Your Judgement

A book may include only a couple of paragraphs of relevance to you, but can be well worth it. A little moral support from one other person goes a long way to change the dynamics of an individual's life. Groups are strange creatures, and can be turned around for better rather than for worse. Perhaps it needs just one person to give moral support, for someone else to feel able to speak out or to stand for or against something.

If you know someone who is dissociative, or you think they could be a survivor of cult ritual abuse, follow your instincts and offer support where you can. Things are not always what they seem but they could be. You don't need to be an expert to make a difference, but you don't have to try. Don't put yourself at risk from over-involvement.

If you are not sure, or are concerned about your own situation, whether you are a survivor of abuse, of cult ritual abuse, or think you may be involved in what other people call a cult in a broad sense, give yourself time to work out what is important. Find out what you can. Get support if you can. One organisation or person may be able to help over one small aspect that makes a big difference, even if it is just by being there.