A true Yarn for you to read, and believe or not - about Ritual Abuse, Deception and Vulnerability in a Town just about Anywhere. We name it Hicktown.

'What You See Is What You Get' applies to this Blog, and to Sites, Blogs, Books & Videos listed. People should be free to make up their own minds, which they can only do by looking at a range of information and ideas, over a period of time.

Search Blog & Linked Sites

Showing posts with label social control. Show all posts
Showing posts with label social control. Show all posts

Fake, Flake or Deluded

Describing the dynamics of a veritable web of ritual abuse, plus a bad therapist or two, the Author gets some flak. Is she a fake or a flake, or plain delusional? If not much of those, what has Kelly gone through? How is it maintained?

It is worth mentioning these issues, even though people may call me a flake or I could be wrong on some of it. It makes a change from the 'fake' label that people in Kelly's life pinned on me no matter what. When people are in trouble and the chips are really down, they look for information or help. They need to work out what is good or expedient for them, and what is not.

I have no way of verifying much of what Kelly told me, but I heard enough to cause concern. It is easy for a folie-a-deux to form, however hard one tries to keep things straight. Kelly could just have been terribly confused, or perhaps that is how someone wanted things to be or to look. An alternative I seriously considered was that she was psychopathic, using every attention-seeking ploy in the book and plenty more. If I find out that I've been conned, you have my word that I will admit it.

If people do not realise there can be flakes and fakes out there, they come to trust and rely on those who are not up to the task, or who have a different agenda.

A Singular Mean-ing

'The Book' spread across these pages is a collage of bits and pieces that unfolded during Internet contact with Kelly, whom I met online for 7 years. I have no wish to keep on with the pithy words and phrases. I will see what else I can do, as she is continually told she cannot break with her therapy, which to my mind makes things worse, and the stricture is unethical. Deals were made with a previous therapist that Kelly would be left alone, both by her and by the local cult. Those did not work.

This is not a scenario where a suggestible woman goes for therapy and comes out believing she was ritually abused, when it may not be a 100 percent from reliable memory. Memories are unreliable in the best of circumstances. Attempts were made to make Kelly believe that a lot of cultic abuse had happened, then that nothing like it could have done, and now that nothing like it was happening to her still. I beg to differ. The explanations and denials whizzed round like a veritable whirligig, a device used as a military punishment. The offender was put in a cage which was spun rapidly, resulting in nausea and vomiting

Also see How Some of it is Achieved further down this page

Joining the Circus

Perhaps it was more like a Circus with vulnerable women made to perform to someone else's tune, though they got no money or benefits. Quite a tune was playing with a myriad hoops to jump, till one wonders that anyone could survive in body or spirit. So long as Kelly had links with other people, the perpetrators could not go ahead successfully with the elusive thing they desired and worked for. Some men in the area got what they desired and paid for. It seemed part and parcel of the same scenario or game-plan.

Hard to see it and explain it though. All I can add to the accounts and thoughts herein, is that it seemed to be an exercise in obliterating personality parts in a target population, and attempting to place others there instead. Sounds crazy or evil? I think the perpetrators are both, but what do you think?

We have collectively been led to believe that any idea of ritual abuse is hooey. Whilst some people go ahead with hooey activities nonetheless (not believing the official spiel - why would they?), people's souls are at risk, towns burn and people loot, prices rocket and banks occasionally crumble.

Apart from my concerns for Kelly and others like her, I have concerns that we have become too involved in thinking that pills or therapy or both, could or should be the answer to the human condition that has surely been around for as long as humans: How to get along with ourselves and each other, wondering if we really do have souls, and raising children.

I feel that this type of perpetrator believes that we do have souls. For some reason they want to prevent people connecting up with their own. An easy way to achieve this is to target children in their formative years. Kelly had a child with outstanding skills. Is that the real goal, with Kelly a means to an end in more ways than one? If they knew how her mind worked or what kept her from going under, could they bend her child to their ways faster and more effectively?

Is that what they hoped and worked for year-in and year-out? Otherwise it is hard to see why such effort was going into this one situation. Unless of course the perpetrators were being paid a lot, or threatened with a whirligig maybe. Who would believe it anyway?

Good plan. Just how Mean can you get?

Here's that Circus again folks, with its hoops and whips, its drama and tricks

To lure you in, get your children to believe in it, and run off to join the Circus

How Some of it is Achieved

There's a lot of talk about mind control and programming, gangstalking and gaslighting. For people whose lives are not affected, these are irrelevant or simply nasty ideas that can't be proven one way or another and they can try to avoid them. Often the issues get vehemently denied, as are the devastating experiences of those unfortunate enough to fall foul of them.

Let's not overload ourselves with words and concepts. Picture bad or unfortunate child-rearing where experiences are not ideal, parents have bad days or bad habits, or confusing or damaging messages they themselves received may get passed down. Picture B.F. Skinner who controlled the environment and behaviour of pigeons, and attempted to apply the principles to child-rearing and society in general. There are many ideas of Utopia, or achieving an ideal society, perhaps just ideal in the eyes of those who manage it. Picture George Orwell's Nineteen-Eighty-Four and Animal Farm.

You don't have to be a teacher or a psychologist to understand about encouraging children to do things, and soothing them when they are upset or hurt. You can teach children boundaries. You can show them how to fight, or to find other ways of handling things. Children are sometimes encouraged to play with sand or dolls or drawings, to express difficult experiences and emotions. Care needs to be taken not to infer too much, blaming the wrong people for things, or for something that may not even have happened.

Trixie the therapist played snatch games. A sequence of events leads a child or client to believe something is predictable or likely to follow, a switch gets pulled and the opposite happens. The toy or sweet that is promised time after time, now gets withheld or snatched away. At best you might call that unfortunate intermittent reinforcement. It is hard to straighten out, and is really is the sort of thing one expects a therapist to be straightening out.

Clients were led to believe they have no worth, no personal rights or expectations. A therapist, who is supposed to behave ethically and helpfully, undermines the very being of those most vulnerable and least able to resist. All of us have younger aspects or sides to ourselves, and things we recall that are upsetting. There are things that we wish could be better. We can pay too high a price in attempting to improve our lot, or the lives of our children.

I heard about the snatch games, and how no persona (whom Trixie did not want) could have a say. Having first claimed she did not know of or believe in dissociation, Trixie had said she would condition Daisy the 5-year old protective alter, out of existence. Now the only things happening were so-called play therapy with Daisy, a vast increase in hours and fees, more cult vulnerability and events, and trouble for Kelly if she did remember or resist. Trixie lined up stones, saying each one represented a bad part of Kelly's life. This caused Kelly to break out of the conditioning, saying 'How would you like it if those happened to you?' and becoming aware of a cult vehicle parked outside.

Trixie insisted that all of Kelly's problems arose through self-created anxiety. In an unprecedented move, Nolly the 'interpreter/protector' sent an email to Trixie after such a session, saying that Kelly had indeed had a lot of bad experiences, so how was the anxiety simply self-created. Kelly had also challenged Trixie over her comment that Kelly had returned to a 'bad habit' in wishing to understand a trigger.

I had been puzzled early on by Daisy and Kelly saying there were cult triggers in the therapy room. Trixie claimed they had to get used to them, as part of exposure therapy. Trixie's husband used to enter the therapy room with sweets for Daisy who was terrified, yelling that Trixie should not let him in or she would quit. The reply she received was 'It's my therapy room. I'll have in it who I want, any time I want.' (This is from the boundary-lady, remember?)

It seemed that Trixie would also say whatever she wanted.

Note: 'Quit' was a significant word that was sometimes used like a trigger

Kelly's previous therapist Marta used to phone her saying 'I quit', which was a cue for Kelly or Caitlin to race to her office in a blind panic of being abandoned

Sometimes it was more in the sense of 'You do this, or you're finished, dead'

Playground behaviour, though much much worse

Manipulation of attachment needs

Amping up the transference

Whatever they could use to abuse

Picture a therapist then, who raises hopes and expectations by promising a safe haven for children or adults to recuperate, learn and grow:

Instead of explaining and demonstrating appropriate boundaries and behaviour, she confuses them excessively

Instead of acting as a suitable mature role model, she dresses in provocative clothing, moving around to show her physical attributes, and continuing when asked to stop

And hypnotises them by flashing lots of sparkling jewellery, or with subtle words and phrases

Total overkill, sometimes exacerbated by tribal adornment
(look-alike pictures show no indication of Trixie being from the Reservations)

Did you ever hear anything like this?

Boundaries, what boundaries?

Safe Haven? You have to be kidding!

Who needs this stuff?


It is easy for people to con others in the therapy line, either directly or by convincing someone to pay for child therapy, or for Kelly's, whose childhood experiences were confusing in themselves. Kelly was told that all her problems could be 'cured' but would need longterm therapy with Trixie. No other avenue would do. In the past she had sought and benefited from other approaches.

And in recent discussions with Kelly she fully appreciated that, if you treat people decently they are a lot more likely to feel like people, and to behave like people. Kelly had lived in a deprived area, and she now wanted to write about the social dynamics of people in that situation, who were kept there by the system, advertently or inadvertently. Doesn't this sound like a grown woman, whose education and talents could be put to better use than a Stepford reality? Or being subjected to 3 hours of play therapy at quite so many dollars per hour?

Snippets from the early days indicated that Kelly or Caitlin the host-person, were involved in things with Marta and her cronies where they were regarded as more of an equal. When they refused to get involved in some of the group aims, troubles began as they became part of the under-class, that somehow kept others 'top of the heap'.

Kelly or Caitlin would never accuse anyone of things they could not prove, nor do things they did not believe were right. Perhaps herein lay a clue to what happened since, at such a price to all.

If you hear any of these words or phrases in a situation that you are uneasy about, they could be a natural occurrence, they could be meant kindly, they could be beneficial. Only you can decide whether they fall on the other side of the coin, for you.

Cult, Kin or Klan?

I collected snippets from Kelly, Daisy, and someone calling themselves Informant who gave useful insights. She said that Daisy played through the 3-hour therapy appointments while refusing to listen or to speak, calling Trixie dumb and only capable of psych 101. I was seeking an inroad into why 1+1/2 hours were paid for instead of the 3 designated hours. And Kelly was gone from home for far longer anyway. 'Do the math' I suggested to Informant, as I gingerly outlined other queries. For more on the development of Informant see the Addendum page.

Having gathered my thoughts, I gradually slipped questions into email exchanges with Kelly, but it was as though those sections were in invisible ink. However something was happening as we did our pre-therapy emails to try to normalise her, and she said she simply did not feel like going to the session.

Daisy emailed 3 hours later that Trixie had turned up at their house for a nice chat and she would help Daisy to write a book. Informant asked how Trixie could know Kelly and I were doing that, and I felt Daisy was questioned during sessions. It seemed people were now fighting through Daisy, a 5-year old alter who could sometimes be swayed, sometimes not, and was mostly a bit of both, basically wanting a momi.

Daisy and Informant had pressed me all day to guarantee never to go away, as Nolly had tried on me recently, but I dealt with other issues first. At the risk of alienating everyone, I now laid down some terms and said I would not budge, as they would get what they got. Informant insisted it was crucial for Daisy. I explained that cults use guarantees, as do bad therapists. And then they twist things.

Informant then asked if I thought there would be trouble over the weekend, and which night 'they' were likely to come. I asked about things she had told me, like there being no cult, no people knocking at the door leaving footprints, just the wind rattling round. I did not mention answers she had given to questions about the harassment, truck parked outside, things that made Kelly forget, which Informant only recently explained as Trixie wanting total control.

I asked Informant about a statement by Trixie that, if there was still cult involvement, Kelly should say she wanted it stopped (which I felt would come at a price, an agreement). Informant replied there was no cult, and it was all down to Marta and her friends playing games. She did not answer my questions on it. I decided to think of that arena as klan rather than the main cult. I knew things about both types of activity there, and it was difficult to distinguish. Cult appearing in 'the Book' could mean both types. Klan means Marta and friends, or male paying clients who never gave Kelly any consideration, monetary or otherwise. A game for them, money for Marta, no fun for Kelly.

Informant asked why I treated everyone as an enemy. Let me think about that one! A better name for Informant could be something like Misinformant or Disinfectant: Part of the clean-up crew. Divide and conquer, miscontrue and generally mess with.

So when people talk of 'satanic' or cultic ritual abuse we need to be wary (and I felt quite weary), that the terms can cover a multitude of sins and sinners. Trying to lump them all together will get none of us anywhere in understanding these cults and klans.

For the second time around now, I had answered for myself some of what was going on in the name of therapy for Kelly. It was only when Kelly saw it for herself that things could shift properly. If attendance at the reinforcing therapy for the cult or klan lessened, the situation could ease, though perhaps something surges up within as the calendar turns, tides rise, and the piper plays his tune. Evil, like the heat-seeking missile it is, would track them down, using any situation or vulnerability, fighting through a young alter, a desperate need, a past trauma, or a bit of confusion within. Which of us does not have any one of those?

Get Good Help or None At All!

Just be warned, and -

If in doubt, don't get involved

Mind what you say on the Web

Links on Gangstalking, Gaslighting, Harassment, Stalking

Check out the following written from a psychoanalytical approach:
'On the Need for New Criteria of Diagnosis of Psychosis in the Light of Mind Invasive Technology' by Carole Smith www.btinternet.com/~psycho_social/Vol3/JPSS-CS2.html

'Hacking the Mind - Intrusive Brain Reading Surveillance Technology'


Kelly was also subjected to episodes of frequent phone hang-ups and silent calls, which generally predisposed her to feeling fearful, and were often a precursor to something else happening, a common factor in general harassment.

Web of Deception

‘Oh what a tangled web we weave, When first we practise to deceive'. We can weave a web of deceit around ourselves if we wish. But why do people weave it around others?

Principles which can be used to control others can also be used to undo control

We need to know more about abusive behaviours, and inequalities in areas that keep some people vulnerable. The most vulnerable tend to be further abused, put upon, ignored, or further confused. Kelly knew it was happening to others in her area, and some people who'd known her a long time were aware in some sense of her situation, and about some of the people involved. It was a strange co-existence - Could any of us get entangled?

Please do not assume that, because you do not do the things outlined here, or you have not come across them, absolutely no-one else does them.

Follow this link for Measures & Countermeasures page

Imagery, Support

Yarnlyte text version for mobile phones is at www.scriptore.org.uk

Pictures appear throughout this site which will mean different things to different people. We hope you will find some of them uplifting in times of trouble. A picture can speak a thousand words, and do so much more. If you think an image should not appear on this site, let us know via the Form - Contact Form/Comments.

You can search on Google for images, and eBay is another good source. There are inexpensive agate or jasper crosses, Celtic or Christian crosses, guardian angels, Orthodox crosses, icons of many different figures. We have put together a few images and prayers to help in times of need at Measures and Countermeasures. You can also find images or articles that suit you and your situation best.

People who are puzzled or desperate often search the Internet, burning the midnight oil until they find something that makes sense. We don't claim 'the Book' is the answer to people's problems, but it may help you gain confidence while you search. Look on it as a friend-in-court for when life goes crazy around you.

Information or Help

People need to use their personal circumstances and discretion, their beliefs or disinclinations. Waters have become so muddied that opinion settles one way or another, for or against this approach or that, leaving people with no personal options. We have to find some!

If Only

Many thoughts come to mind. Should I probably have done this, but definitely not that? Or do we judge ourselves by outcomes, as if the end justifies the means and it all turns out for the best? Should we look back with 'If only'?

Would I have got into this if I were not so curious, or if I knew how unreasonable Kelly could be about my commitment? Probably not. What kept me there was that Kelly and others like her had no chance of seeing or freeing themselves. That was because other people performed antics to prevent them doing so, worthy of the best or the worst circus. In this case it was 2 therapists. How could I not be involved? It was also because people who did believe were not believed themselves, and that others did not believe with a huge full-stop.

By a quirk of fate I was away a couple of days. Ironically Kelly now put together that she was involved with a twisting therapist Trixie, having already been through this with Marta, whom I'd crossed swords with in weird emails. Now Kelly said 'Either Trixie is playing a game with me, or you are. Like with Marta, it is her and not you. Marta is the main one, Trixie is the side-digger. You made me see that with the picture.' (I'd sent Kelly a picture of a group in another context, though could not see the connection.) She now realised the cult were active in her life again, where she'd made excuses for the bruises and pain, occasionally asking 'How long have I been getting hurt again?' or being scared of people at the door.

I had wondered if Kelly was playing out games with me through her past experiences, and her histrionic and dissociative make-up. But I had been involved overall for 9 years. I knew Trixie worked with Marta before where she had dealings with parts of Kelly's psyche, particularly Daisy the 5-year old protective alter (except when acting the opposite), and teenager Casey who was crucial. She is not mentioned much in 'the Book' as it would be too personal for parties involved.

Kelly was not the host-person, having come along when Caitlin could not cope, and they managed things together since university. Caitlin was gentle and sensitive and disappeared for long periods. Kelly used to be forthright but was now cowed. Other alters helped with chores and children. Seeing how I supported Kelly others wanted the same, which was too time-consuming as each wanted to get to know me and bickered over detail. I wondered whether some well-meaning supporters and therapists got tangled in an area where one is 'the expert' on a DID system. I trained in behavioural and psychodynamic work, and believe social conditions are often paramount in people's problems. Certainly looking at them can be useful.

Later I trained in hypnotherapy and met some of the best in the field, and others I would not wish on an enemy. Be careful who gets into your psyche, because your needs can become a road to hell, paved by other people's intentions. This applies to people you mix with in your personal or work environment. Just know where you are with yourself.

Whenever I tried to set a boundary with Kelly hoping that the one baseline could generalise, things went haywire. Boundaries are the antithesis of what some bad partners, cults, conmen or conwomen require, including bad therapists - in this case with cult allegiance. The sad thing was that they could have helped Kelly. Instead she was undermined, and many things she tried boomeranged back. The wonder was that Kelly had a flair for intervening in neighbourhood disputes and children's spats, knowing how far things should go and how to remedy them.

What clued me in with doubts about Trixie was her repeated reference to boundaries. How did Kelly know about Trixie's personal life, hopes and fears, yet any issues Kelly raised or wanted help with were out of bounds? Trixie said she would not reply to emails as it was a boundary. She did though when things got out of hand, which is natural. Her words were chosen to give one meaning if it became public, while Kelly picked up another. There were times when I said something in good faith, and Kelly reacted as if it were destructive.

I had to weigh up whether Kelly would want me to help others in her predicament, against further punishments getting meted out to her. In our early days of contact, it seemed life-and-death in her immediate future via threats, and surely no-one could survive this for another week, month, or year?

The idea was to make it impossible for victims to be separate from the cult. They were bonded as though some lien formed a one-way track to the cult. If Kelly got away it could mean punishment. This was part of the lien, the bondage, making it stick like glue. It could also be what kept people like Kelly alive and struggling as if having super-human qualities. Perhaps it was like everlasting life in a hell-on-earth. I believe it is important for people to realise things for themselves, not have them implanted via a different, even well-meaning agenda. It could be that the price was too high for Kelly. Why should someone else set the price for her?

I went online before and after Kelly's appointments with Trixie, realising that she went missing for a substantial period of time. The idea was to minimise her vulnerability. Although Kelly was sure she had quit therapy, she still attended appointments, being vague over going and most of what occurred. I began to stress that she should be aware for some of the time, or else it was inappropriate for Trixie to see her. Trixie was courting young Daisy as the easiest inroad. I did not know if the sweets given were drugged. Trixie called at the house after a missed appointment, and Daisy let her in. Kelly had an agreement that Trixie should not even drive by the house, because of how Marta had been.

When Kelly said Trixie phoned with another appointment, she did not mention the late night visit. I thought she knew of it at some level, and had left things to Daisy. I mentioned it to Kelly, provoking a reaction of horror. She said we had to sort it out now before my days away, as she would never go back there. I asked if she would want me to tell her of anything like this again, and she said yes.

I emailed Kelly a broad outline of some of the points, being careful over what I knew through our being online, or what I wondered or believed. Kelly's usual way of dealing with threatening events was to think of them as a dream, for a while anyway. How could she do that with my summary now in front of her?

I was wondering if Kelly had been to see Trixie again and was somehow complicit in something. She was reluctant to communicate and was sending me personal questions. I went online after being away and emailed that I was back, but there was nothing for a couple of hours. Thinking Kelly might have missed my message, I repeated that I was back. 'I am here' she replied. 'Waiting for you to answer my questions.' I did not know if she'd been there all that while. We were both tired and fixed for the following day rather than get out of kilter.

Boggle Up or Boggle Down

Boggle threshold: Term coined by parapsychologist Renée Haynes to indicate the level at which the mind 'boggles' or is thwarted by the degree of improbability of a phenomenon. It is similar to other measures of the strangeness level of a phenomenon expressed by others.

Improbability is in the eye of the beholder. I had thought around various issues, wondering where we might have gone wrong or could perhaps view things differently. This was a time I nearly blew things and was lucky not to get the chance. 'You're confusing me with all these questions' Kelly complained. But we established that Kelly was not always clingy towards me, and when she wanted assurances there could be other factors involved.

In the same breath as saying she would no longer see Trixie as a therapist, Kelly mentioned getting hurt again by the cult. She was adamant however that Trixie was nothing to do with the cult, even though equating her with Marta, who was. This became a 'new reality' for the time being, and it would not be good for me to press for things that I wondered or thought I knew more about.

Later Kelly emailed that I had not understood something correctly. Something had been simmering away unknown to me, and was crucial to why she would not see Trixie. This too was her reality, adding to her previous doubts over Trixie as a viable form of help for her. Kelly had been laying down challenges to Trixie which would keep Kelly on track better than anything I could say or do. I always thought she could do this but it was almost too late in coming.

It is important for people to have a sounding board for things that happen, or just their thoughts and fears. Although I did not know a lot of what happened to Kelly, she knew I was there even when we did not always agree. There were times when she appeared to have been drugged and had little recollection. Hypnosis was used to keep her confused and to play on things in her mind. During the case of a girl kept captive in someone's torture shed, she was heavily drugged to forget. Later her memories began to surface, in an environment where it was safe and conducive for her. She was able to work it out for herself at her own time and pace. No-one told her what had happened. No-one then knew, but things were subsequently confirmed.

We may wish we could speed up the process, or get it moving how we think is best, but that is not the way.

Game Ludicrass

The cult needed cult fodder, they wanted women, and they needed to have control over them. They could not allow anything to be realised, or get put together and acted on. Hence the manipulation of alter personalities and altered states of consciousness. They wanted people regarded as flaky or mentally ill, so that no-one would believe them. If psych methods did not work there was backup, like the memory-loss machine in the truck parked outside. This is what I term clean-up crew rather than cult-night roundings by Transport, though they could be the same. Laura, mentioned in Addendum told me of a sound-and-light machine affecting her consciousness, as others too have described.

There are more physical methods still, appearing just recently in CSI on mainstream television. Now we all know it's not just down to conspiracy nuts or double-dealers in Spooksville. I still could not understand why perpetrators used cumbersome psych methods like 3-hour therapy and fear induction, when something else would do the job just like that, to quote Tommy Cooper. Perhaps they had to pay for stuff, or they needed permission to use it, or had to report back on the efficacy for some situational or longitudinal study.

I think Kelly's problems arose because she wanted permanent guarantees and assurances. Marta and the cult offered those, while at other times making Kelly's life sheer hell. Maybe that's where the concept of 'satanism' comes in, with its high devil drama and apparent demons. Trixie's soft-soap approach to 'solving all problems' was what Kelly/Caitlin wanted to hear. It is difficult sometimes to sort out who has rights or who made a contract. Although I appreciated the role that Daisy and others played, I was not going down the road of putting their needs first. Someone else was twisting those. Getting bent out-of-shape is not descriptive enough. Maybe those 'with rank' got their ideas of dissociation from La Femme Nikita, and fancied factoring those 'without rank' into a tool incapable of knowing what they did to order. No-one could be held to blame, which is how things can often seem with DID.

I wondered if there was a kind of operational spreadsheet: This is an A4 so proceed accordingly, or it's C2 or XYZ. Anyone who has uploaded webpages to the wrong directory, or looked for something in the wrong file knows that things don't show up there. Kelly's psyche was like an experience or a mood being placed in one part or folder, unlikely to reach others unless there was some link, or meltdown.

For the perpetrators it must be the high drama, the fun of the game, thrill of the chase, the supremacy, or a need to keep experimenting in societal control on someone else's whim or instruction. They want to demonstrate something, while having us argue that things can't happen that way so they haven't, or they haven't happened that way so they can't, or something. Someone higher up the chain yanks their chains via threats and inducements, sticks and carrots, divide and conquer, hearts and minds, body and soul. Isn't that how it's done? We should all watch re-runs of The Professionals, then we'd know.

Fantasies and Fantasmagoria

Kelly and others like her can hardly be expected to see a lot of what goes on around them. If they do realise, they are labelled crazy and 'treated' accordingly, as in how they are regarded, or all sorts of theories get bandied about over them. Ian Hacking has written about people getting caught in a vector when expert views clash, which actually creates stresses. Worth a look. After all, we are labelling people here, and what can they do about it?

We have a tendency to alienate those who are weaker or different, as if something about them is threatening. Other people's theories, dreams and fantasmagoria get boring. I wanted to close on a positive note where Kelly made realisations about her therapist Trixie, who at best was inadequate, and at worst confusing to the point where it became evil, whether or not there was direct cult involvement.

Trixie kept calling Kelly mentally sick. Kelly or host Caitlin went to see her for help with a couple of fairly ordinary problems. Now Kelly was trying to break free from the therapy that allowed young alter Daisy to play for hours, while encouraging her desire for a momi. How sick can you be to do that to anyone? I encouraged the coping parts of Kelly as she struggled to come to terms with her life.

There did seem a convincing link between Trixie and the cult, when Kelly skipped appointments and punishment followed with a vehicle parked outside, people at the door, torn clothing, cuts and bruises, loud noises and ensuing shock, with Kelly having little recollection. Nowhere was this more evident than the night Kelly's emails jammed, possibly from just outside her home, and I sent scathing comments to whoever might be eavesdropping. Four hours later Kelly was at her computer shivering in just a shirt that was not hers. It was like any other rape or cult night only worse. I stayed online till 4am our time, and only managed to get her to grab a blanket.

Next day we met up as normal. 'It's good there are no emails from Trixie' wrote Kelly. 'Now I can get on with my writing. How is your day?' On she went about family things at the weekend, so on and so forth. A crazy way to cope? You be the judge. I have a family member who smiles brightly while coping with more things than most of us ever get to see, because she puts it away somewhere in her mind. We all do things differently.

Much later I was working online when I checked emails from Kelly. There was a mass of them from different alters with odd little rhymes about witches, drugs, trucks, Trixie and Marta, and insults to me which were now a feature. Fancy displays of alternating letters a and s formed pictures like a downward chain of chalices. Someone wrote in large letters 'Just let me go'. Meanwhile Kelly was saying she was fine but dizzy, and I should just go to bed.

Young Daisy was crying so much that she said Trixie was coming over to the house. I tried to warn Kelly but it was cloth-ears time. She was pleased that she had quit the therapy for 3 appointments, and to her knowledge there was no backlash. I had suggested earlier that she write a formal letter about ending the therapy but she found it too threatening. She was naturally feeling a loss at ending their arrangement.

Jingles and Jamborees

I was already aware of some of the other alters who were writing, but the jingles were gearing the system towards jamboree time. If Kelly could not stop someone opening the door to Trixie or Marta, and had only just stopped attending the therapy she had quit, now with apparently connected consequences, I did not see that we would be successful with this yet, unless things in her life changed significantly.

If the cult or whoever could not engage others within the DID system today, there was a big ol' system in place for playing catch-up tomorrow. Ain't life wonderful when there are such guarantees? We used to call it brute force and ignorance. Now we dress it up in psychodynamic or sociological terms. Let's hope they lead to greater understanding then.

Factor This

The main players were Caitlin the host, Kelly who was similar and virtually took over the reins, making some hard decisions.

There was Daisy the 5-year old who was around since Caitlin was small, and Casey a teenager, basically a younger Caitlin.

Nolly was an interpreter/protector who was quaint and formal, though now sometimes violently objecting to me.

A newer background info-person was Informant, who wanted to get pally and talk about Kelly behind her back, as had others.

Recent emails coming in from 'bad side' of the system showed things were not going smoothly there either.

There was an appointment with a psychiatrist who prescribed standard medication. Kelly had a fear of her which I partly sympathised with. I was away for another couple of days, but had not explained to Kelly as I would try to keep up. It was not enough, nothing ever would be, and Kelly kept asking if I was angry.

I received emails from both Nolly and Informant, and it was hard to tell which. One of them explained a puzzling point. Although Kelly did not wish to see Trixie, a message had gone to Trixie asking to speak to her. It seemed Caitlin made a brief return and fixed another appointment, then disappeared again. Trouble and beyond.

Informant seemed generally pleased at how things were going. 'Why can't she just pay you to do it, like you are already doing free?' someone wrote. Could this be what Kelly wanted but I would not do? Nolly said Caitlin would hopefully not get a chance to see Trixie. I asked if Nolly had changed her mind over the suitability of Caitlin making a return. No reply. I was getting curiouser though generally saying and asking less. Things went from Nolly/Informant saying things were not too bad, to a sudden alert 'Kelly is now going to the hospital'. I replied instantly 'Why, what happened?' No reply.

We now had several key factors: Kelly wanting more from me, Kelly stopping therapy with Trixie, Caitlin returning briefly and contacting Trixie, my asking Nolly about Caitlin returning, Informant asking why I could not sort Kelly out, alters who loved cult nights, but Kelly and Daisy getting severely abused at them.

Other factors generally were Kelly's natural vulnerability, her swings between believing she was not mentally sick, to thinking she must be so hospital was the fitting place. Marta had conditioned her that way, and might have sent a triggering message. Add Trixie and the apparently connected punishments for breaching therapy, and that made umpty more.

Plus Kelly had become aware of severe problems regarding therapist Trixie whom I mistrusted. Kelly was experiencing increased cultic abuse which she did not connect with Trixie. I did, though for the moment did not press it, knowing that Kelly had already seen glimpses.

A few too many factors for sorting out just like that? I should cocoa...

Tell Us Why!

So who is right? Me with a human rights approach that something ought to be done to prevent this type of carry-on, or those people who are human though not humane, with such control over others via nefarious methods, and failing that plain vicious bullying and rape. We should be able to do something about those, except that victims do not remember, or they are threatened with the worst things imaginable.

There is something wrong in all of this. Anyone can take my word for it or not. After all, it's a free country. . . This is my call to people involved in these practices to tell us honestly what is done and why, and what can be done about it. Many of us believe in some way that how we are in ourselves, before death or at the point of death, does have significance for us or those around us. And it is something that only we can sort out for ourselves.

We ordinary folks can work some things out and pass information around. It simply needs a framework not entrenched in lifestyle, belief or religion, or any psychological model. I cannot yet make it impossible for the Hicktown crew to continue. I could easily make them findable. The principles are as easily spreadable as magic tricks. Cults are well known for their lying and subterfuge, misdirection and even hi-tech illusions.

Val Valentino (born June 14, 1956) is an American illusionist, and actor, who gained fame by starring in four magic specials exposing magic secrets on the Fox network, using the stage name the Masked Magician. For a span of two years (circa 1997-1998), Valentino performed, unbilled and disguised, as the "Masked Magician" on Fox network television specials called Breaking the Magician's Code: Magic's Biggest Secrets Finally Revealed which exposed long-guarded trade secrets. The Masked Magician was also shown in the UK on the ITV network during the late 1990s and is still occasionally repeated on ITV4. Valentino signed to do the program, promising that he would only reveal the secrets behind old illusions.

However, when the programs aired, many newer illusions were also revealed. This sparked controversy, as many magicians feared that their illusions were now worthless. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Val_Valentino (Note: You can see some of these tricks on YouTube)

Send for Bodie and Doyle

What is the best way to pre-empt these pre-empters? It is time to get real, get our heads out from the sand, and stop alienating people with different experiences or the people who support them, whether they get all of it right, or they just got awful misled. 'They' think that we won't agree enough even to listen or to look, and in that way they hope to pre-empt our realisation of the reality.

Rather like what was done with Kelly and others, who could not be expected to see, although deep down they knew. Some who caught a glimmer found it all too hard, adding to the high suicide statistics of young women in crazy Hicktown. If these things were happening to someone you know, what would your reaction be? Would you be in with a chance of stepping in, so that they can step out? Just like that, Tommy Cooper-style.

Principles which can be used to control others can also be used to undo control

Could any of us get entangled?

The reader must choose where to draw the boundary on anything

It is about choice and boundaries: Don't let other people erode them -

Or Con you into thinking they are different from what you feel is right

Thank you for reading

'All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing'
Edmund Burke

Measures and Countermeasures

 Follow this link for Measures & Countermeasures page

You can search on Google for images, and eBay is another good source. There are inexpensive agate or jasper crosses, Celtic or Christian crosses, guardian angels, Orthodox crosses, icons of many different figures. We have put together a few images and prayers to help in times of need at Measures and Countermeasures. You can also find images or articles that suit you and your situation best.

Useful Links - Use Your Judgement

A book may include only a couple of paragraphs of relevance to you, but can be well worth it. A little moral support from one other person goes a long way to change the dynamics of an individual's life. Groups are strange creatures, and can be turned around for better rather than for worse. Perhaps it needs just one person to give moral support, for someone else to feel able to speak out or to stand for or against something.

If you know someone who is dissociative, or you think they could be a survivor of cult ritual abuse, follow your instincts and offer support where you can. Things are not always what they seem but they could be. You don't need to be an expert to make a difference, but you don't have to try. Don't put yourself at risk from over-involvement.

If you are not sure, or are concerned about your own situation, whether you are a survivor of abuse, of cult ritual abuse, or think you may be involved in what other people call a cult in a broad sense, give yourself time to work out what is important. Find out what you can. Get support if you can. One organisation or person may be able to help over one small aspect that makes a big difference, even if it is just by being there.

A search on Amazon or Google will help you to find what you are looking for. Also see Lucela's List for background reading, and the Links section.

Jimmy Savile Aftermath

People in the UK have now heard too much about the Jimmy Savile saga - one they generally knew nothing about unless unfortunate enough to have been directly afflicted. It seemed that a good airing would be helpful for people who had been abused, but it has tended to bring their own pain to the forefront of survivors' minds. As for helping others to understand some of it, let's hope so.

I came across a book by Nick Bryant on the Franklin situation in the US where people who should have known and done better, did everything they could to discredit child and teenage victims of widespread abuse, whether they spoke out as youngsters - if they dared - or when much older. Had they not already paid an exorbitant price for other people's problems and proclivities!

'Franklin Scandal: A Story of Powerbrokers, Child Abuse and Betrayal' by Nick Bryant. If you only get a short look at the book go straight to the Epilogue.

More books at Lucela's List  http://yarntangled.blogspot.co.uk/2012/06/blog-post_1313.html 

Worth a view is 'Conspiracy of Silence' at www.youtube.com/watch?v=asvl6kO1Vo8

Kelly and I do not claim her experiences are the same as these. Thinking over how her mind was systematically screwed till she could not grasp anything, her references to 'power people' in big houses, parties as a teenager with older men, wanting to protect her children from similar fate, the late-night clientele battering her door (some likely the same as the cops driving past to scare her), the cover-up and distortion when she tried to expose it, Yup, to use her word, Yup indeed.

I do not know why people in power seek to gain or retain it by harming others who have none. Or why other factions collude so viciously to cover it up. Coming out of the Franklin and Savile situations and let's not forget Dutroux, are threats made to victims or anyone wanting to spill the rotten beans, and the 'friends' or officials in high places, particularly the law enforcement meant to do just that and not act as cover-up or be a further danger.

Maybe it needs looking at just as a totally reprehensible dynamic, something we can all do something about through basic recognition.

Kelly prepared a fantastic summary of her woes, not for publication at this time. She would write something profound in the manner of past exchanges between us, but then fall in shards. She summarised her life and abusers, one small aspect of which was more than most people encounter in a lifetime, but she became unable to view the wider picture. It was a picture that her trusted therapist, put up to by others and covered over by more others, painted around the block. It was like some grand cult which encompassed most of the town, and it was not just happening to Kelly struggling to bring up her children in poverty, but to others in a similar situation, my guess is because 'they' got away with it.

Marta, the previous therapist, had bragged about my involvement with Kelly, saying I was too far away to change anything and did not have the resources. However she took down photos of herself on the Internet as though not wholly convinced. The present therapist Trixie knew little about me while spending hours per week with Kelly. Part of Kelly could see through Trixie better than you or I. Another part put Trixie on a pedestal, revering her looks, her life, her qualifications, while Kelly had better qualifications and, usually, insight. Parts of the system asked me why Trixie wore diamonds and crystals that flashed in the light leaving them dazed.

Perhaps I did not pay enough heed at the right time to the parts that wanted to discuss how the verbal and other cues worked, but something was bugging me over the cult commitment. Kelly was latterly kept unaware or confused over it, but she had lost her crusading spirit. It was as if understandably she'd given up trying, whilst occasionally pulling a viable rabbit out of the hat to surprise us all in spades. We would make contact, followed by yards of emails on daily trivia and family matters that I could not get involved in.

Suspicious from the start over the Trixie scenario and now much more so, I felt the years of late nights spent on Kelly, however deserving and useful, were not producing the goods. She was going backwards via a complex and evil experimental design, which surpassed anything I could counteract by working directly with her, although ultimately that is where change would come.

Unless the surrounding situation changes, or she and others can be made aware of appropriate information which also changes other people's perceptions, things won't get better fast. Some people suggest pooling information which I see as a patchwork quilt of experiences. That is an excellent idea but, once personal information is bandied about on the Internet, others handle it like their own. They think something happened to someone, or it didn't happen so the person must be lying or crazy. If they discredit one small part, others may assume that none of it happened. And then there are 'professional' detractors - see below.

Anyone who has done group dynamics or attended an event and exchanged memories, knows that accounts often don't tally by a long shot. Not only that, groups and committees have a tendency to polarise or to split into factions. We need a way of solving some of these issues, creating our own experimental design, in order to move forwards.

Kelly had broken up with Phil who paid for the so-called therapy, yet now seemed back in touch and paying. That would fit a cult-town Hicktown scenario. Someone had a hold over Phil and Trixie as the closest people to Kelly, and I had some idea what those controls and deals were. I originally uploaded this under a title of Deals Within Wheels to reflect Marta's machinations. 'Marta is the cult' Kelly used to say.

I realise Kelly and I will not be cleaning up that corner of Hicktown in the way we perhaps had hoped, but we can make others aware in case they have concerns over their own situation, believing that no-one can ever believe them. Even if no-one else believes you, whether they choose that or they simply cannot, you can believe in yourself.

Although many young or vulnerable people can be abused in these scenarios, few can explain all of what happened and how it affected them. Some get demolished to rubble or demoralised by specific factions of society, or by society's general inability to take issues on board.

The Jimmy Savile saga should mean that not all the previous detractors can continue to smother all of it. For the moment they are not parading the chestnut of 'no evidence' but my guess is they will. They are so predictable. Not only do we need to ensure that some people are viewed as 'professional' detractors, but also clarify that people who want to talk about personal issues should indeed be talking to someone reliable and not to some front person who may actually be 'in-the-know' -

Or they surely would be wiser to keep their own counsel

Politicians are not the only ones capable of double-speak: Therapists can be adept too, and it can be a useful skill. But what better way to control a section of society that acts as a much needed 'resource', than to persuade them they are mentally sick or worthless, and by inference so are their offspring, while providing centres to 'enrich' their lives. Whose lives, I ask looking long and hard, whose?

Therapy can be a life-saver for people though very demanding. People are often helped through by having a good friend or a network of people to stand by them through thick and thin, or by reading reliable information including experiences of others.

My other question relates to a likely outcome of propaganda 'normalising' behaviours that should not be normalised. We get bombarded nightly by television's blood and trauma, accompanied by those flashing lights they warn of whilst flashing anyway. The same happens on daytime News bulletins when children can be watching, with horror stories of abuse like the wicked witch in fairy tales that children of old knew were only make-believe. Now we know that not all of them are, which is only progress if we actually do something about it!

See the article by Matt Barber below, relating to work by Dr Judith Reisman on so-called research undertaken by Alfred Kinsey. 'She found that many public sex-education programs are doing to children, constructively, what pedophiles do to "groom" them for sex.'.


Strange how so often we seem to think that one size or approach could possibly fit all people or all situations - or even get close to them. If you wish to disregard anything here or elsewhere relating to ritual abuse, at least wonder what happened to Kelly 'in the name of therapy'. That deteriorated further but is not included in the Yarn, written to outline some things that can go wrong. If you are in a situation of concern, don't think it must mean something's wrong with You! Thanks for listening and Good Luck.

Scroll down on the right for other Blogs and some sources of Help. Not surprisingly, some of the organisations offering support to Survivors are quite busy so it can be hard to find someone understanding with sufficient time. Find out what you can for yourself, do what you can. Things will not always be like this.

A page has been prepared at http://toukanalia.50megs.com/createyours/measures.html to include uplifting words and pictures for those in time of trouble. If you find some that suit you better use those instead.

Project Caressing

Our children - whose investment? Cause for concern?

Sun, Sea & Satan' - documentary on institutional child abuse

Bill Maloney of Pie 'n' Mash Films

See also